PLA Issue #44

released on February 8, 1997

table of contents:

Introduction
Owning Your Own 900 Number
Stop Paying For 2600!
Pacific Bell's QuickService
Accepting Collect Calls for your Friends
IRC Logs
Letters

PLA is a publication of information, humor and satire.
Nothing in any issue is to ever be taken seriously.
We are not responsible for your stupidity

"A modern payphone is as exquisitely evolved as a cactus" -Bruce Sterling
from The Hacker Crackdown



Introduction

 HIM: So you got your pictures back or not?
 HER: Well, we got the proofs from Sears when we had them
      taken but I don't have the money to purchase them yet.
 HIM: Bummer.
 HER: I was thinking of just taking the proofs down to the
      copy shop and having color copies made & getting them
      blown up and stuff.
 HIM: Well, you can't do that because there's a copyright
      on the proofs and I doubt the copy shop would do that
      for you.
 HER: Oh, like they'd care. It's self-service so they won't
      even know.
 HIM: Heh.
 HER: I don't know if they'd come out very good if we enlarged
      them that way, though.   ...Hold on, I got another call...
 HIM: Alright.
 HER:  Hello?
  ME: Yes, this is Steve from the Copy Super Center downtown.
 HER: Yes?
  ME: Well, I'll be blunt with you. We know all about your
      dishonest ploy involving the copyright infringement of your
      photographs from Sears. This is just a friendly warning,
      but you'd better stay the hell out of our store and take
      your illegal activities elseware.
 HER: Who is this?
  ME: I told you, I'm Steve from the Copy Center here in town.
      We'll have the feds staking out the store front so don't
      even think about trying to make copies of your kids'
      photographs here. *click*
 HER: *click* Oh my god, are you there, Shane?
 HIM: Yeah, I'm here.
 HER: Shit, you're not gonna believe this...

Everything in this issue is copyright (c) 1997 by the PLA. Void where
prohibited, offer not valid in Vermont or Maine, no purchase necessary, no
salesman will call. PLA is an equal opportunity employer - we will make fun of
your religion no matter what color you are. No cost or obligation. Our pledge:
"We will sell your name and address only to the highest bidders. We are not an
elite hacker group. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the
law.



Setting Up Your Own 900 Number For Fun and Profit

Everyone knows that you can make big bucks by purchasing a 900 number. You've
read the ads - "Stop making your boss rich, be your own boss! Make thousands
of dollars a week owning your own 900 number!" What these ads don't tell you
is that before you can get anyone to call your 900 number, you have to spend
an ungodly amount of cash advertising in the backs of magazines before you'll
ever make any money. So unless you can afford big bucks in the first place,
you're not going to make anything. Until now.

Find A 900 Service:

One of the most difficult parts is actually finding a decent 900 provider.
You should look for one that requires very little or no deposit. Most of the
services work like this:

1. You send the 900 provider a small fee (hopefully under $50) or with some,
no fee at all. You also send them your name, address and other important
information.

2. The 900 service will provide you with either your own personal 900 number
or they will give you a pin code to be used on THEIR 900 number.

3. Each time someone calls your 900 number or uses your pin number, you will
get a small amount of the profits. (Like maybe $1.00 a minute from their
$2.99 a minute cost.)

4. About a month or two later, you'll recieve a check from them for your
portion of the profits.

That's how most of them work that'd you'd want to deal with. Of course, you
could bypass a 900 provider altogether and just invest about $2000 and set up
your own, but I've never had that much extra money lying around to blow.

To find a 900 provider, do a web search on "own your 900 number make big
money" or something similar. Also look in the backs of magazines, such as
Entrepreneur and Rolling Stone. They usually have the ones where you invest
about $100 to get your own pin number. One service I know of that doesn't
charge anything to start up is Web 900. Their phone number is 1-800-362-6728
and their URL is

http://onlinew.com/logicom.
They let you set an amount to
be charged for each call. (ie, someone calls your 900 number and gets billed
$25.) There's also BBS 900 which does the same thing.

Okay, I'm Ready to Start Accepting Calls:

You've got your 900 number set up and now you just need to get some people to
call it. Here are a few tricks that will make you the richest kid in your
neighborhood.

  • Call the 900 number with your own phone. Sure, the phone company will shut
    off your line and your credit will be ruined, but in two months you'll get
    a check big enough to pay at least 1/3 of it off. (Okay, that's not very
    realistic, but it WILL work.)
  • Go to a neighbor's house every night and beige box into their lines to
    call your own 900 number. Or better yet, a large business that won't
    notice the 900 charges on their bill for awhile.
  • Find a phone number that nobody ever calls, such as a gas station's
    credit card line. If you can't seem to find one in your area, then call
    the billing office and order a phone line for an empty house. Make sure
    you get call forwarding for this line. Then beige box into the line or
    use remote access call forwarding to forward all the calls to your 900
    number.

    IMPORTANT NOTE: Some people think this is a great way to set up a 900
    line that you can call day and night and never be charged for the call.
    Sometimes this is true, but most times it isn't. When you dial the local
    number you've forwarded to a 900, sometimes the ANI passes through from
    your line to the forwarded number, to the 900 service. Sometimes this
    doesn't happen. It all depends on how the 900 company is set up. One of
    three things can happen when you call a local number forwarded to a 900
    line:

            1. ANI will pass through and charge YOU for calling the
               900 number, whether you have a 900 block on your phone
    
               or not. (Having a block and getting charged for 900
               calls really confuses the phone company.)
            2. ANI will pass through and both you AND the place you've
               forwarded the call from will be charged for the call.
               This is really weird and you have to wonder who's
               collecting the money on that double billing.
            3. ANI will not go through and you won't get billed for
               the 900 call - the forwarded number will.
                    

    Unfortunately, the only way really to find out which of these happens is
    to try it out and watch your phone bill next month to see if the charges
    appear. To be really safe, don't call the forwarded number from your
    house. Ever. The same thing happens with some 800 numbers so don't think
    this is a risk-free diverter either.

    One really interesting thing is that you can go to a Bell pay phone and
    call your forwarded number, be connected to the 900 number and the Bell
    pay phone will start getting charged for 900 calls if #1 or #2 happens.
    This will alert the phone company that something REALLY odd is going on
    and the phone company will usually (not having anywhere else to turn to)
    call the 900 service provider and ask them what the hell is going on.
    This raises suspicions to your 900 account, the 900 people call you and
    ask if you know what's going on. This is all un-wanted attention so if
    you're doing this to make money, don't use a Bell pay phone.

  • Place an ad in your local newspaper and say whatever you have to to get
    people to call your local forwarded number. Try to aim the ad mostly at
    teenagers and kids so they'll call the number, think, "Hey, neat, a chat
    line!" and they'll tell their friends about it and so on. Example ad:
    "New FREE chatline available! Usually it would cost you $2.99 a minute
    but this month only, you can experience the fun for FREE through our
    local free number! Call 258-0357 and enter pin #2539 today!"
  • Print up a bunch of flyers with your local number on it and post them
    everywhere. In your school, in your church, on community bulletin boards,
    throw them at police cars. Just whatever you do, don't let anyone see
    you doing this or you'll have an angry mob of townspeople at your door
    when the phone bills arrive.
  • Log onto a BBS in your area and get an account under a false name. Make
    sure you use *67 when calling the BBS since alot of sysops use Caller ID.
    Spam all the message groups with ads of your local phone number.
  • Set up a "local" 900 number in every area code across the United States.
    Then place ads in all the newspapers where you've set up the numbers.
  • Tap into the lines of CoCots and try dialing the 900 number directly
    from those. Most of them have 900 blocks but there's always a few.
  • Find a well-hidden green telco box, bring your phone and sit there and
    dial your 900 number all night.

    Payment:

    After you've done all you can to generate traffic to your 900 line, sit back
    and wait for the payments to start arriving. The few 900 services that I've
    experimented with will wait two months before sending you a pay check. This is
    to ensure that nobody disputes the 900 charges on their line and they pay you
    for it and have to deduct the charges from your next check.

    Charge-backs will happen but there's always gonna be alot of people that just
    don't notice the extra charges on their bill or they won't alert the 900
    service in time. Some 900 services advertise "no chargebacks!" but those are
    usually the ones that ask for about $99 to get hooked up so I've never messed
    with them.

    Most 900 services will send a monthly paycheck to the address you claim to
    live at. Since if you're good at this, this could be considered big-time fraud
    so maybe you might wanna remain anonymous. Get a PO Box (see PLA043) and use
    a voicemail as a contact number for the 900 company. Then again, if any
    questions arise as to why so much fraud happens involving your 900 number,
    you can just say you don't have a clue.



    Stop Paying For 2600!

    Awhile ago I tried to rock the boat in usenet's alt.2600 by posting a message
    encouraging everyone to cancel their subscriptions to 2600 Magazine and
    instead look at the issues on my web site where I'd pirated all of the back
    issues. This web site, of course, does not exist. I only wanted to see a
    discussion in alt.2600 that didn't have to do with getting the latest cracks
    for the latest games.

    I expected a huge flame war to erupt, millions of posts, threatening e-mail,
    calls to Emmanuel, feds to email me thank you notes. I wanted hackers to take
    over hotmail.com where I'd set up my 2600 e-mail address, trace my connection,
    hack my ISP, shut off my phones, destroy my life, maybe even get a free
    Phrack t-shirt in the mail from Erikb for evening out the competition but all
    I got in response were about 20 posts burried in the avalanche of "NEW WAREZ
    MAILING LIST" posts. And most of the e-mail I got was positive, asking me when
    the site would be up or people wanting to know the URL.

    When stating my depression of how little response I got, el_jefe suggested I
    e-mail emmanuel and tell him he sucks and I want to be sued RIGHT NOW. But I
    never got around to that. So anyway, here are all the posts from my thread and
    all of the e-mail I got on hotmail. Maybe once people in alt.2600 read THIS,
    they'll ruin my life so I won't be so bored. Coming next issue - the resulting
    messages from my post in alt.christian, "STOP PAYING FOR THE HOLY BIBLE!!!"

    THE POSTS:

    [First, there were my two posts...]

    Subject: stop paying for 2600!
    From: [email protected]
    Date: Sun, 12 Jan 1997 10:07:50 GMT

    Are you tired of paying 2600's rediculous subscription fees? Well,
    worry no more! I'm setting up a web page that includes every single
    issue 2600 ever wrote since they began. I'm up to 1989 so the page
    should be available very soon. Every detail to every issue will be
    included such as pictures, covers and even hyperlinks to other cool
    pages in each issue! Stop paying The Man and visit our page instead!
    I'll post the URL in a few dayz...

    Stay 'l337!
    PepsiMan


    Subject: STOP PAYING FOR 2600!
    From: [email protected]
    Date: Sun, 12 Jan 1997 10:33:54 GMT

    Yo, i don't think my last message posted so i'll say it again. I'm
    starting a new web page that has every issue of 2600 printed on it,
    word for word including all the pictures as well as hyperlinks to
    other cool sitez. Stop paying the rediculous subscription fees to The
    Man and get them from my site for free. Ive compiled 1984-1989 so far
    so my page should be up very soon. Any comments/suggestions can be
    sent to me at [email protected]

    Stay 31337!


    [And after three days of waiting, finally some replies...]

    I'm glad to see that you don't worry about pesky little details like
    copyright law. For some reason, netizens have become a little touchy
    about that of late. They seem to object to having their intellectual
    property stolen.

    But you go right ahead. You may just wind up paying 2600's
    rediculous (SIC) legal fees.

    c ya,
    Rick


    Subject: Re: stop paying for 2600!
    From: [email protected] ( )
    Date: 13 Jan 1997 04:08:39 GMT

    This will be an interesting situation. Does Emmanuel really believe in
    freedom of information? If he does, he won't mind since this person is
    taking a lot of time and energy to put them up. Hell, he may want copies
    of everything for 2600.com ...


    From: [email protected] (Smiley2521)
    Date: 29 Jan 1997 10:01:19 GMT

    It's cool what your doing, but if everyone stopped paying them, then
    they'll go out of business and then you won't be able to update your
    web site.


    From: [email protected] (outclassed)
    Date: Thu, 16 Jan 1997 05:07:12 GMT

    Pirating 2600? What a damn shame.


    [After only a couple of days, the posts tapered off so I
    tried once again to spark a little interest, this time
    with a little (but not much) more success.]

    I've gotten a lot of good e-mail and a lot of negative e-mail
    concerning my new 2600 page. You lamers can shut the fuck up and do
    something creative yourselves instead of telling me I'm stupid.

    For those who are worthy - my 2600 site is almost up. Im nearing
    completetion and almost have all of the 2600 issues turned in to html
    form and up on my page and I have also put the cover on the beginning
    of each page and done a much better job than emmanuel's lame-ass scans
    on his page. Until i am completely finished, i will not be able to
    give out the address so be patent. I am almost finished!!!!

    PepsiMan

    http://you.will.see/2600/


    From: [email protected] (Waldo L. Jaquith)
    Date: 1997/01/14

    Hmmm...I'm not sure I'd call them ridiculous. (Or "rediculous", for that
    matter.) They're quite reasonable, considering the size, quality and
    unusual nature of the publication.

    It's great that you're doing this, but, everybody -- please -- don't let
    this keep you from purchasing it. If you don't buy _2600_, how do you
    suppose it'll continue to support the hacking community?

    Information wants to be $1.99.

    Best,
    Waldo


    I completely agree.....2600 provides a service that is very
    helpful to cookbook collectors...they can't continue to produce
    quality material and support meetings if they are being pirated
    into the red ink......besides, it's only $21 a year!


    From: Robert Egan ([email protected])
    Date: Mon, 13 Jan 1997 17:26:13 -0500

    Oh thats good. Wipe out Emmanuel's cash and there will be no more 2600
    Magazine.


    From: [email protected] (Cypher666)
    Date: 1997/01/25

    i'd just like to add something... i'm only 15, my parents will be a tad
    suspicious when they see a computer/phone fraud magazine arriving every
    month in the mail. I'd gladly pay the fee, but me ordering the magazine
    in hardcopy is not possible. I'd love to be able to somehow pay for the
    electronic version, but that wouldn't be possible either. Hey, phrack is
    free, why can't 2600 be?


    1) Goldstein has to live off of what he gets from 2600
    2) Phrack is electronic, 2600 is published

    Enough? Just pay for the stupid thing -- it's only $20 a year. Geeez.

    Ammon


    From: [email protected] (§h¤¢K)
    Date: Thu, 30 Jan 1997 07:19:59 GMT

    2600 is not about How to do fraud nor does it support it, It is for
    all Knowledge Seekers with that burning desire to know how things work
    not to know how to be a thief or to destroy things. Smoke that in your
    pipe little Kid; being an idiot will not get you fame or respect have,
    a desire to learn new things and then you will get the respect for
    what knowledge you know and how you use it to express your talents.

    La8erz
    §h¤¢K


    From: [email protected] (blah-Hipo)
    Date: 1997/01/20

    jesus. just steal it from book star or whatever, that way the great
    magazine doesnt suffer, just some big facless coorperation.

    -blah-Hipo


    I think it's a good idea what you are doing and I am anxious to see your
    page but I don't think it is a good idea for you to incourage others to
    stop paying for the hard copy. If every one where to do so it would seise
    to exist and soon make you new page just a bunch of outdated articles.

    rebound


    From: [email protected] (Glen L. Roberts)
    Date: 1997/01/12

    If I recall previous issues of 2600... they consider copying to
    be the best form of flattery... don't know what they currently
    say, I don't have an issue handy.

    You can obviously get all the info in 2600 from the net, before
    they put it into magazine form... but if your time is of any
    value their summary is great... also... you can't read the web on
    the can or the bus...

    Not to mention all the people 2600 reaches that isn't on the net
    yet!

    I also notice in the original post, that the location of this
    information was not given... leading to speculation that someone
    is just trying to stir the pot!

    [Finally, someone who has a slight clue that someone
    is just trying to fuck with the group. heh.]

    THE E-MAIL:

    From [email protected] Sun Jan 12 09:41:29 1997

    It might be a good idea to include the URL for your site in your
    next posting. I'd really like to take a look and see what you've
    done with it though - any chance I could get it from you?


    From [email protected] Sun Jan 12 10:16:40 1997

    What's the address of your website with all the 2600s on it?


    From [email protected] Sun Jan 12 17:27:14 1997

    If you even try to put up the magazine online, you are going to have
    serious problems on your hands. That isn't a threat. It's just a fact.
    If you aren't willing to spend the $2-$4 four times a year for a damn
    good zine then you have bigger problems. Don't be so fucking
    disrespectful and pathetic. Show some support for the scene, not
    adversity.

    -Wednesday
    Mother Superior of
    The Church of TACD


    From [email protected] Sun Jan 12 20:21:27 1997

    What is your URL????


    From [email protected] Sun Jan 12 21:11:21 1997

    What is the address of your web site.
    MESS WITH THE BEST DIE LIKE THE REST (R)


    From [email protected] Sun Jan 12 20:55:37 1997

    I dont usually do this. Lamers like you piss me off.
    now go write a sob mail to you sysadmin, whiner.

    LONG LIVE 2600!!!!!!!!

    [This was an e-mail bomb sent to my hotmail address about 50
    times. Boy, checking 50 delete boxes and clicking the delete
    icon really taught me a thing or two.]


    Are your pages with 2600 back-issues up yet? I'd like to take a look,
    where is the address?

    Thanks,
    Minstrel


    I saw a post from you about a web site with 2600 info from the mag.
    What is the URL and is it up-and-running yet??

    bigmess


    Heya, I caught your message on alt.2600 about the back archives of the 2600
    Magazine - unfortunately, it was a reply to your message I read, so I did
    not get the URL for the page with them on. If you would please tell me it,
    I would be very grateful. Thanks in advance.

    Michael Rohm


    wow... finally someone who made a post to alt.2600 thats worth my time
    of reading. 1984-89 ... thats before 2600 became the lamer mainstream
    mag it is now. if theres any way i could possibly help id be glad to.

    sniper


    From: Randy R Watson ([email protected])

    whats the url


    From: zero ([email protected])

    what' your address the your web page


    E-mail me the address please.

    Vincent Arsenault
    [email protected]


    From: [email protected]

    i read your post about 2600 and was very intrested, if you can, e-mail me
    when you get the site up thanks.



    How To Take Unfair Advantage Of Pacific Bell's QuickService - by pneyz

    Earlier this week, I recieved my monthly phone bill. Of course, at the time
    I was in West Virginia and my phone is in California so I now think that Bell
    has men in trenchcoats shadowing me. But inside the envelope, there was a
    PacBell newsletter along with the ugly brown reply envelope that I used to
    store my stolen "C&P W.Va" telephone pole plaque in. The newsletter was
    evidently aimed at telling those people too stupid to read PLA issues how to
    mess with people's phone service. Oh, they didn't just come out and say it of
    course, but they hinted at it. I'll type up the entire thing below since I
    have _no_ life.

    By the way, I just found out that this will not work if you don't live in Pac
    Bell's territory. I know that sounds obvious but I mean you can't find use
    the 800 number from out of Pac Bell territory. I tried calling Bell Atlantic
    and seeing if they had a similar service and they said no. I don't know about
    any other RBOCs. Also, RBCP said it didn't work in USWest and they didn't have
    one. Anyway, here's the little promotional thing, word for word:

    Ordering Services The Easy Way

    If you're in a hurry and you want to check your phone bill balance
    or order a Custom Calling service -- like Call Waiting -- it's easy to do so.
    Just call QuickService(sm) at 1-800-241-3000 (toll free), With a touch tone
    phone, our automated ordering system allows residential and small business
    customers to get information or order services without having to speak to a
    representative. QuickService is available Monday through Friday, 7 am. to 11
    pm. and Saturday from 7am. to 7pm.

    With QuickService You Can:

       ù check the balance of your last bill,
       ù get the date and amount of your last payment,
       ù make payment arrangements,
       ù get copies of your bills,
       ù and much more.
    

    Other Services

    QuickService allows you to order or change a variety of phone
    services. You can call to hear a description of the service in which you're
    interested. When you order a Custom Calling/CLASS service through Quick-
    Service, your one-time connection charge will be waived! The services
    available through QuickService include:

       ù Call Waiting *
       ù Speed Calling 8 *
       ù Priority Ringing *
       ù Pacific Bell Calling Card
       ù Complete Blocking (Caller-ID) *
       ù Three-Way Calling *
       ù Select Call Forwarding *
       ù Call Return *
       ù Call Forwarding *
       ù Call Screen *
       ù Repeat Dialing *
       ù 24-hour Service Area or Community Discount
         calling plans
       ù Call Blocking or Unblocking of 900 or 976 numbers
       ù Inside Wire Per Month Repair Plan
    
       * Custom Calling/CLASS services (where available)
         

    How To Use QuickService

    After you call 1-800-241-3000, just follow the simple voice prompts.
    You'll be asked to enter your area code and phone number and a security pass-
    word to protect your privacy. Your password can be your Pacific Bell Calling
    Card PIN, your Pay-By-Phone PIN, or the last three numbers of your account
    code, shown at the top of your Pacific Bell bill. If you call QuickService
    during business hours, and afterward decide you want to speak to a represent-
    ative, you can press "00" and your call will be transferred to the next
    available attendant.

    ---[end of promotional advertisement]---

    Obviously, to use this service to your own ends, you will need someone's PIN
    or account code. The easiest way is to call them up and do something like
    this:

    (GB = Greg Burri, 408-439-0206 / ME = pneyz)
      GB: Hello?
      ME: Hi. This is Chris Tomikson with the Bell Atlantic
          Phone Fraud Department, are you Brian Pedersen?
      GB: Yes.
      ME: We have detected some strange activity coming from
          your calling card.
      GB: I haven't used mine in a long time.
      ME: Then you weren't the one who made 3 calls to a waste
          management facility in Espoo, Finland?
      GB: What?! No. I know nothing about those.
      ME: I see. And did you use it to call the San Quentin
          Federal Penitentairy on the 4th, for 3.2 hours?
      GB: Never.
      ME: OK, we've been having a lot of problems like this.
          Have you locked your Telephone Network Interface box?
      GB: My what?
      ME: Never mind. Listen, we can have all those charges
          removed from your bill.
      GB: Thank you. Thank you very much.
      ME: I just need some way to make sure it's really you *little
          laugh to make them think it's just routine*.
      GB: Sure, what do you need?
      ME: Uh, how about the last 3 digits of your account number?
      GB: Umn, I don't know it.
      ME: Do you have a phone bill?
      GB: Yea.
      ME: OK, look up at the top. There's a number. Read the last
          3 digits.
      GB: Sure, they're 613.
      ME: Thank you. If there are any more charges on there that
          aren't yours, call the business office and tell them.
          Have a nice day and thank you for using Pacific Bell.
    
          

    It's always best to wait until late in the conversation before asking for the
    code. This is because they will be more suspicious of you when you first
    call. Also, I threw in the bit about the TNI to get them off guard. Technical
    jargon and acronyms are always good to toss around to get them confused and
    make them think only a TelCo employee would know them. Some good ones to use
    are Regional Bell Operating Company (RBOC), ACTS (Automated Coin Toll System),
    TNI (Telephone Network Interface) and some Cellular terms like ESN.

    Sometimes though, the people will totally believe you and start asking how

    they can keep this from happening and what might have caused it. I normally
    just trot out the old things like "cordless phone interception" (the guy
    decided to throw away his cordless phone, heh) and "un-locked TNI box". You
    can also tell them that some hacker named Roy is doing this all over town.

    I tried calling there and ordering 3-Way Calling and for some reason, it gave
    me an operator and when I added 3-Way, there _was_ a $5 installation fee. This
    means that if you hit "0" to get an operator, you can make it so the person
    you're harassing will get billed for the installation (normally, QuickService
    doesn't charge for installation). Of course, I then cancelled it and re-
    ordered it on QS.

    Since this is an 800 number, they can and will trace you. So if you're
    screwing someone over, you might want to think about using a local payphone.
    You can also use a payphone, order stuff to your line, and then complain that
    someone else did it. It works.

    If anyone has any information about other RBOC's offering stuff like this,
    send me email at [email protected] Oh yeah, RBCP said that Ameritech (I think)
    had a service like this that you could call in and enter a number and get
    their phone bill but he implied that it has been discontinued.

    Making People Accept Collect Calls - by Jolly Spamhead & Ghost~Face~Killer

    Hey, ever wanna harass a person long distance and don't want to pay for it?
    Well, collect call them... What, they won't accept your call? Oh well, they're
    gonna have to from now on with this new 313370 trick.

    Requirements to do this- First you need Three Way, because you need a friend
    on the other line to do this trick and have it work right. With both of you
    on the fone, one of you must click over and dial OCI (1-800-288-2880) as men-
    tioned in previous PLA philez, Then click back over so you, your friend, and
    OCI are all on the same line. Your friend just stays quiet for now. Give them
    the run around like so...

       OCI Oci, This is Monica how may I help you?
     G~F~K Hi, i'd like to make a person to person collect call.
    Monica Yes, can I have the number on the phone your dialing
             from?
     G~F~K Uh...yeah 206-265-7932
    Monica Ok, can I have the number your dialing to?
     G~F~K Sure it's 860-568-1814 (or the # of the person your
             harassing)
    Monica Whats your name sir?
     G~F~K My name is Fisher Priceman.
    Monica Ok, whats the name of the person your trying to reach?
     G~F~K Uh Justin Daigle. (or any random name)
    Monica Ok please hold and thank you for using OCI
    

    As soon as the lamuh picks up have your friend pop in and say I accept the
    call. Like so...

     *CLICK*
    Justin He...
      Spam Hello?     <-- (Your Friend)
    Monica Hello this is the OCI operator I Ha...
      Spam Yeah yeah, Whatever I accept.
    Monica Thank you for using OCI. (Click)
    Justin -Confused- Uh Hello?
    

    And there you have it, The Lamuh does'nt have time to Know whats going until
    the operator is already gone and the call is already put through. Then it's up
    to you what happens next, Have Phun. Hope you enjoy this, me and dave got this
    to work 100% so far!

    IRC Logs

    Once again, PLA is sinking to a new all-time low by publishing a gigantic
    collection of IRC logs.

    "either he cuts this shit out, or bright.net goes bye bye" -dazen

    A Private Conversation with Scott The Believer:

    (RBCP) Do you praise the motherfucking lord?
     (STB) NO RBCP, ypu Gay jerk.
    

    Here's What Usually Happens When We Visit #DEAF (STB's Channel):

    *** Now talking in #deaf
    (RBCP) i'm touching it
    *** You were kicked by SD40T_2 (banned: Get Lost PLA
    Gay Jerks! You think you are so good, take this!)
    *** Attempting to rejoin...
    
    *** Cannot rejoin channel... (you're banned!)
    

    Colleen Card Visits #HACK:

    *** Now talking in #hack
    
    (Colleen) netsex for k0dez?
    (Colleen) i swear i'm a girl.
    (Colleen) i promise
    (Colleen) erikb fell for it, why don't you?
    (b_) BAKU BAKU
    (Sinner) oh no
    (no_ana) hohoho
    (Erisian) Okay. You're a girl. That's nice.
    (otoPICO) lalala
    (dec3169) kinda my day.
    (Colleen) but i'm blonde. please give me lots of codes.
    (otoPICO) bakubaku is my god
    
    *** You were kicked by Sinner (*** Colleen is
    [email protected] (Chris Tomkinson))
    *** Attempting to rejoin...
    *** Rejoined channel #hack
    
    (Colleen) you can wire them to my AOL account.
    *** stb is on IRC (praise the fucking lord)
    *Erisian* What the hell are you doing here?
    -) *stb* i love you
    (otoPICO) haha
    *** RonPost ([email protected]) has joined #hack
    (Colleen) HI RON!
    (coldfire) anyone know where i can get an ascii line
    printed snoopy calender?
    (Colleen) I'll sell you the AT&T 10xxx code for k0dez!
    *Erisian* Please leave.
    (RonPost) oh boy
    (coldfire) anyone know where i can get an ascii line
    printed snoopy calender?
    * HomeySan is back from the dead. Gone 38 min 45 secs
    (VaxBuster) hi homey
    (Erisian) Vaxarina!
    (Colleen) can anyone teach me how to hack? i'll pay you.
    *HomeySan* who are you? you're funny/elite "selling
    10xxx code" heh
    (Erisian) COLLEEN GET THE FUCK OUT!
    (HomeySan) uhhh, sure
    
    *** You were kicked by VaxBuster (suck my c0ck)
    *** Attempting to rejoin...
    *** Rejoined channel #hack
    
    *** You were kicked by tsal (smewch!#[email protected][email protected][email protected][email protected]!)
    *** Attempting to rejoin...
    *** Rejoined channel #hack
    
    (VaxBuster) haha rp
    (Colleen)  howdy, i like k0dez.
    (Erisian) Bwahahaha...
    (tsal) LETS PLAY HACK THE STRIPPER!#@$!
    (tsal) du0d
    (Erisian) Let's play spot the fed...
    (Colleen) i'm not a fed, i can prove it. just give me
    k0dez and i'll use them. i swear.
    (HomeySan) sit on my lap and I'll show your rdist, baby....
    (since when was that a pick-up line?) LOL
    (coldfire) well if you dont know where i can get an ascii
    snoopy calender howabout an ascii elephant jokes calender?
    (RonPost) code: 90210
    (tsal) colleen: here
    (tsal) 18004280940 PIN 369400
    (Erisian) Coldfire - You're in the wrong place.
    I think you want #moroncrap.
    (Colleen) whoa!
    (Colleen) now i gotta hang up my modem to use it!
    (otoPICO) hey colleen : to get codez you have to know the
    secret word
    (Colleen) or i can just run over to the pay phone real quick.
    (Colleen) where do you want the netsex, sir?
    (tsal) colleen: you owe me [email protected]#[email protected]!
    (coldfire) erisian: you have no culture
    (Colleen) boobs boobs penis. i'm touching myself.
    (tsal) right here, right now.
    (no_baboon) hehe.
    (dec3169) u have to have a codex multiplexor to get codez.
    (tsal) huhuhu
    (HomeySan) *Colleen* quick, coach me on netsex tips.
    (HomeySan) LOL
    (Erisian) Motherfucker wants an ASCII Snoopy calendar and says I
       have no culture.
    (otoPICO) tsal...like didnt your doctor say NO sex stuff...
       cuss like you are broked
    (otoPICO) hahaha
    (Colleen) homeysan, you traitor
    (redmare) h0h0h0..u netsex coach u
    (tsal) and i can have sex
    (Erisian) Colleen - Telnet to all the best hacking utils
       at 127.0.0.1...
    (Colleen) oooooooooooo, i'm there.
    (Erisian) tsal - You're broked? Wha hoppen?
    (Colleen) can anybody e-mail me an elite copy of telix?
    (Erisian) tsal - Yeah, I was born with a weak heart...
    (Erisian) tsal - Fortunately, I can bang whenever I like.
    (HomeySan) collen: qmodem 4.5 test drive, all the way
    (Colleen) tsal, i can give you a heart attack cause i'm
      really a girl and stuff
    (Colleen) and i have big blonde hair
    (Colleen) i wear lots of hair spray. netsex anyone?
    (tsal) colleen: send me a picture
    (RonPost) tsal's really a girl also.....
    (tsal) ron: shhhhhhhhh
    (otoPICO) tsal is hemaphroditic
    (RonPost) i'm a bi-fem my self...
    (Colleen) whoa, i'm a lesbo then!
    (Erisian) I'm a lesbian in a man's body...
    (Erisian) Hehehehe... Hack-me Elmo...
    (Colleen) this telnet isn't very exciting. does anyone
      here wear glasses? I want to netsex you.
    (Erisian) Whooo-hoo!
    (otoPICO) uhh really
    (otoPICO) haahahahahahaha
    (RonPost) i drink from glasses....does that count?
    (Erisian) Colleen - I wouldn't netsex you with emmanuel's
       net dick!
    (otoPICO) like i have glasses and i drink from glasses!!! woop
    (Fantus) like, i have contacts
    (tsal) colleen: i'm really a guy, btw..
    (RonPost) code: 0u812
    (Colleen) wow, i haven't been banned yet. this is cool.
    *tsal* btw, I'm not a chick, ronpost was lying.
    * Colleen runs all over the channel waving t-shirts around
      and flings them in Fantus's face. "T-shirts! I got tons of
      LOD-MOD t-shirts! Get 'em while they're hot!"
    (HomeySan) can we play "wet t-shirt contest" in them?
    (RonPost) i want my : "i phear BoW" tee
    (tsal) I KNOW WHO COLLEEN IS
    (Colleen) no you don't. i'm a blonde.
    (Colleen) and blonde in a bottle.
    (Colleen) and i got lots and lots of silicone.
    (tsal) COLLEEN HAS MY INFOZ
    (no_ana) COLLEEN IS JEANIE FROM "I DREAM OF JEANIE"
    (no_ana) I KNEW IT
    (otoPICO) uhh i have lots n lots of silicon
    (Colleen) oh shit, i've been found out.
    (jima) no_ana: and did colleen kill jfk too?
    (Colleen) i'm not in Oregon, I moved you crazy bastard.
    (Erisian) Colleen - Are you even sexier than SYNACK?
    (tsal) colleen: YOU WERE
    (tsal) AT LEAST IN THAT AREA
    (Colleen) could i have ops because i have blonde hair.
    (jobe) definitly not Colleen
    (tsal) COLLEEN
    (tsal) like
    (Erisian) COLLENN I WANT TO To SUCK MY LOAD!!!!
    (Erisian) OOPS, I MEAN I WANT *YOU* TO SUCK MY LOAD!
    *** Erisian was kicked by Veggie (Go away.)
    (Veggie) I have the sideburns of TEN MEN.
    (Colleen) wanna stroke my truck.
    
    *** You were kicked by jobe (NO.)
    *** Attempting to rejoin...
    *** Rejoined channel #hack
    
    *** Kludge changes topic to "(Erisian) COLLENN I WANT
    TO To SUCK MY LOAD!!!!"
    (Colleen) if i give everyone a code can i stay.
    (Colleen) a code and a dollar?
    (Kludge) It appears he would like to suck his load...
    (otoPICO) cus colleen you are prolly a protestant....
    (otoPICO) and uhh #hack is really catholic n stuff
    * jobe will werk for c0dez
    (Colleen) no really , i'm catholic and i worship the
      goddamned lord and i go to fucking church
    (Colleen) i praise his god damned name, i swear.
    (Veggie) I KICK ASS FOR THE LORD.
    *** tsal sets mode: +o Colleen
    (Colleen) oh no
    (Colleen) we smoke pot for jesus using the bible pages
      for rolling papers. i'm very religious.
    (Colleen) i'm going to be a minister when i grow up and
      we'll sing priase to the fucking lord
    (otoPICO) like i was gonna be a preist once...must then
       i sobered up
    (prophit) wicked, can i have ops, i had them last night,
       i was promised them today
    (Colleen) does anyone know the number to 1-900-HOT-BABE?
    (Colleen) i'll give you k0dez for it
    *prophit* so can i have ops today????
    (Twiztah) uhh colleen u so smart
    (otoPICO) colleen: yes
    (Colleen) okay
    (Colleen) antix: 10288
    (Colleen) byplyne: 10222
    *prophit* they are opping everyone. just op me please.
    (Colleen) b_ : 10333
    *prophit* i am a regular here they won't mind
    (Colleen) chmawd: 3
    *prophit* i had ops last night and the night before, they
       won't mind
    (Colleen) dec3169: 10482
    (AvAlON) Hey prophit! nice to see ya man!!!!!!
    (Colleen) etrigan: 8
    (Colleen) fantus: 10776
    *prophit* if u like i will return the favour in #hackers_hideout?
    (Colleen) leave me alone jima, i'm a dropout.
    (Colleen) fantus: 10999
    (Colleen) see you confused me and i gave fantus two codes. now
      EVERYONE will want two codes.
    (Colleen) thanks a fucking lot
    (prophit) Colleen what are you doing?
    (Colleen) trying to get k0dez for netsex
    

    Dazen Goes A Little Fruity in the Head:

    Dazen is one of the lamer people that hangs out 24 hours a day in #rock. Don't
    believe me? Stop reading for a second, log on to IRC and look. He's on, isn't
    he? He's always on. Well, one day he left for a second so I took over his nick
    and ended up talking to a couple of girls he was trying to netsex. I began
    raving in #rock that rbcp had shut off my phone and sent the cops to our
    house. (Which, of course, is made up.) Here are the results:

    (Bella_) Thank you Hank.. I appreciate you not yelling at me :)
    (dazen) np
    (Bella_) yes :)
    (dazen) you're nuts
    (dazen) can i do you?
    (Bella_) So, did you get in trouble with the police there?
    (dazen) yeah, they searched our whole house for drugs
            because of rbcp
    (Bella_) I am?
    (dazen) you are what?
    (Bella_) Or did you type that in the wrong window? :P
    (dazen) could be
    (dazen) i'm all confused
    (Bella_) uh... no
    (Bella_) But I have a sister you could do *snicker*  j/k hhe
    (Bella_) What did he do that made them do that????
    (Bella_) hmm... either one of us is lagged.. or you're REALLY
             messed up tonight :) hehe
    (Bella_) Then again, just the fact that you even asked if
             you could do me tells me you're pretty messed up :P
    (dazen) well, i'm pissed and my mind isn't working right i
            don't think
    (Bella_) Maybe you should go and sleep some of it off? :)
    (dazen) no, because if my defenses are down, he'll do
            something else and i don't wanna be woke up by the
            police again.
    (dazen) having a gun to your head really fucks you up
    (Bella_) Why did he do it????  I just can't understand why
             someone would do something like that :/
    (dazen) i don't know, cause i kicked his girlie one time
            when she came in the channel
    (Bella_) oh.. hrm... it's hard to keep friends when chicks
             come into the picture :/
    (dazen) hehe yeah no kidding
    (dazen) she's a stupid cunt anyways
    (dazen) he switched my long distance carrier too, i found out
    (dazen) proably because that's the only thing he knows how to do
    (Bella_) My husband had to kind of let go of one of his
             friends cause he kept calling me a *hole* hehehehe
    (Bella_) oh gawd.. he's causing lots of trouble, huh?? :(
    (dazen) yeah
    (dazen) can i call you a hole?
    (Bella_) uh.. no
    (Bella_) Well, after one visit there, perhaps the police will know
             he's just being buckety and not come out anymore??? :)
    (dazen) i hope not
    
    (dazen) i'm feeling better now, thanks
    (Bella_) Most police will know he's just trying to cause trouble
             and if he keeps calling them, they'll find out who he is
             and he'll be in trouble :)
    (dazen) yeah, they kept asking me all these questions about
            PLA and stuff
    (Bella_) hmm.. well, police can't do anything about the PLA
             anyway... so don't worry about it :)
    (dazen) fuck off
    (Bella_) who me?
    (Bella_) What the hell are you talking about???
    (dazen) i know what you just did
    (Bella_) uhm.... I don't know what you're talking about.. mind
             telling me?
    (dazen) yes i do
    (Bella_) Hank... WHAT are you talking about??? I haven't
             done anything but sit here and talk to you :/
    (Bella_) Yes you do what?
    (Bella_) You're not making any sense tonight Hank :(
    (dazen) forget it. i just hope you're happy now
    (dazen) i'm going to go end my problems right now
    

    [After that, I logged off of IRC as Dazen,
    then back in as myself. Here's what was said in #rock.]

    (Bella_) apok.. if you're here..... PLEASE msg me??????????????
    (Apok0lyps) belles: what?
    (Bella_) Are you at home with z3ns??
    (Apok0lyps) yeah
    (Bella_) Is he ok?
    (JuNiE) z3n, okay? hmm
    (Bella_) Junie.. I'm worried about him.. :(
    (rbcp) what's wrong with dazen?
    (vel0city) who are we worried about?
    (jammie) dazen
    (vel0city) why
    (Bella_) I'm serious
    (Bella_) apok.. could you PLEASE go and check on him??? please????
    (Apok0lyps) belles: he's fine
    (JuNiE) whats with dazen?
    (Bella_) Why is he freaking out on me like that then????
    (Apok0lyps) belles: I do't know
    (Bella_) Can you tell me what he's doing right now apok?? Cause he
             said something really spooky to me before he left :(
    (Apok0lyps) belles: sleeping
    (Bella_) *whew*... good
    (Bella_) He scared me half to death there apok... :/
    (rbcp) how did he scare you?
    (rbcp) i hope dazen gets hit by a bus
    

    [Then, the next day I was minding my own business (as Dazen, of
    course) and Bella_/Belles starts msging me again.]

    (Belles) Ok, wanna tell me what you were talking about
             that I allegedly did last night???
    (dazen) You know!
    (Belles) Hank.. I have NO idea what you were talking about
             last night :/
    (dazen) Guess then
    (Belles) I wouldn't know where to begin... other than
             returning a kick that you gave me :)
    (dazen) Fuck off then
    (Belles) All I know is that you kicked me and called me
             a bitch because you were too lagged to see me say
             hello.. and it went downhill from there *sigh*
    (Belles) Oh, ok.. I see how it is.. I send you something...
             you get pissed off for no reason and that's the end
             of it, right??
    (Belles) Ok, I'll leave... hope you have a good life Hank.. bye..
    (dazen) Whatever bitch
    (Belles) look Hank, don't even bother messaging me back, ok?
             If you want to get all upset about something and not even
             tell me what you're upset about, then I can't be held
             responsible for it... ok??  Let's just leave it at that
             unless you'd like to tell me what you're so upset about,
             because I honestly have NO idea :/
    (dazen) Just FUCK OFF already
    

    [Later that day, Dazen left IRC again so Colleen took over his
    nick and a girl named skinflowr starting msging her. Part of
    the log was lost, but here's what we recovered.]

    (skinflowr) =)
    (dazen) Fuck you bitch
    (skinflowr) z3ns?
    (skinflowr) please talk to me.
    (skinflowr) z3ns i know you are not away
    (skinflowr) i will not go away. i want to talk to you.
    (skinflowr) you're probly posting everything i write.
                i don't care.
    (skinflowr) i don't know what you heard but i wish you would
                talk to me. you must hate me. i'm so fucking stupid.
                i don't know what to say...well i do, but you ..will
                not listen anymore. i wanted *you* so bad, and now i
                guess i ruined it. please listen to me zens, i'm sorry.
                i don't want to say this, cause it's true but you won;t
                believe me, but i really like you. still. i don't know
                what i can do to convince. i hope you are even reading
                this far. you hate me now, and
    

    [So next time you're on IRC, change your nick to Dazen and
    interesting things are sure to follow.]

    A Typical Lamer Enters #rock:

    [This guy kept coming in, asking about rock music, then getting
    kicked. I kept unbanning him so he'd get kicked again. This went
    on for several minutes.]

    (rbcp) (Tsk) i'm banned again
    (rbcp) who the hell is tsk anyway?
    (rbcp) i asked him who he was: (Tsk) The Silent Killer..
           i draw ansi.. why?
    (rbcp) wow, if that doesn't sum it up... hehe
    (Agrajag) hahahahahaha
    (Agrajag) "i draw ansi"
    (Agrajag) let him back in.....
    (rbcp) (Tsk) will you let me back in?
    (rbcp) (Tsk) just don't op me again
    (rbcp) (Tsk) el_jefe didn't like that i guess
    (Agrajag) -) *tsk* You draw ANSI!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
    (Agrajag) (Tsk) yeah why?
    (Agrajag) (Agrajag) that makes you Leet-o
    (rbcp) let's ask tsk to draw us elite ansi
    *** rbcp changes topic to "PLA is looking for good ansi
        artists. please email dazen if interested"
    (Agrajag) (Tsk) i'm not even allowed in your channel.
              why would I do that?
    (Agrajag) (Agrajag) rbcp's graphics are getting on
              everyone's nerves
    (Agrajag) (Agrajag) we need some good ansi
    (Agrajag) (Agrajag) i hear you are good
    (Agrajag) (Tsk) who told you that?
    *** Tsk ([email protected]_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock
    (Tsk) [rbcp([email protected])] okay, i unkeyed it
    (Tsk) good
    (Tsk) thanks
    (rbcp) your welcome
    (rbcp) hey, what's with your posting my msgs?
    (rbcp) i don't like that
    * rbcp doesn't like people to post his private msgs public
    (rbcp) do you think that's funny or something tsk?
    * rbcp loosens his collar
    (Tsk) hehe
    (Tsk) do you want to see one of my ansis?
    (Tsk) I only draw logos.. not really pictures..
    (Tsk) rbcp - sorry.. just showing you helping me.
    (Tsk) rbcp - i wont do it again.
    (rbcp) my mother posted one of my private messages into
           a channel once...ONCE.
    (Agrajag) tsk: that was a PRIVATE transmisssion
    (Agrajag) it is illegal to repost it
    (rbcp) tsk, do you realize the penalties of what you've done?
    (Tsk) rbcp - i'm assuming i get to be kicked out again?
    (rbcp) do you have any idea the scope of the magnitude of
           problems you could get yourself into doing shit like
           this on irc?
    (rbcp) do you know WHY they invented private msgs?
    (rbcp) do you understand the meaning and use of msg?
    (Tsk) rbcp - yes sir.  do you accept appologies?
    (rbcp) i don't think you understand, tsk
    (rbcp) something like this just isn't that easily forgiven
    (Tsk) rbcp - oh.  then what do you want me to say?
    (rbcp) actually, i'm just kiddin' tsk. i'm bored
    (Tsk) rbcp - yeah i realized that :)
    *** Tsk was kicked by rbcp (but i'll kick your ass anyway)
    (rbcp) haha
    *** Tsk ([email protected]_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock
    *** Tsk was kicked by el_jefe ( hi tsk )
    (rbcp) (Tsk) oh for crying out loud.
    *** Tsk ([email protected]_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock
    (rbcp) oh shit, i just posted a private msg!
    *** Tsk was kicked by Apok0lyps (%phear% wanna touch my
         monkey?)
    *** Tsk ([email protected]_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock
    (rbcp) tsk, do you read PLA
    (Tsk) rbcp - no, sorry.
    *** Tsk was kicked by rbcp (that's what you get for not
        reading PLA)
    *** Tsk ([email protected]_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock
    (rbcp) tsk, do you realize that everyone here is laughing
           at you?
    (Tsk) haha =)
    (Tsk) rbcp - i sure do :)
    

    Colleen Card Netsexes Wel:

    Colleen was innocently minding her own business when this guy started msging
    her and begging for net sex. So Colleen decided to play along.

    (wel) wanna hot chat?
    (colleen) You start
    (wel) tell me about your self.
    (colleen) i'M SIXTEEN GO TO SCHOOL. FEMALE. bROWN HAIR
    (wel) I am 19, go to college in South Dakota.
    (wel) are you still a virgin?
    (colleen) Thats kind of private (blush)
    (wel) well, that's ok!  what are you wearing right now?
    (colleen) Tell me what you look like..
    (wel) I am 6' 170lbs dark hair and eyes
    (colleen) I have on a little white t-shirt, and some shorts
    (wel) that's cool, I like girl wearing a white t-shirt, with
          the bra showing a little bit, that's sexy.
    (wel) may I know your measurement?
    (colleen) What are you wearing? :)
    (colleen) 36 c
    (wel) I am wearing a polo shirt and jean, with brief inside.
    (colleen) 28 inch waist
    (wel) that's pretty good size for a 16 years old young like you.
    (wel) how tall are you?
    (colleen) 5 foot 1
    (colleen) :)
    (wel) you have a boygriend?
    (colleen) No one serious
    (wel) me neither
    (wel) by the way, my dick is about 7" long.
    (wel) what kind of position you like?
    (colleen) REALLY??!!!
    (wel) yes, I don't lie about that.
    (colleen) I like to be dominatied..
    (wel) you mean dominated?
    (colleen) I like a man who can put me in my place :)
    (wel) I can put you in anywhere you want.
    (colleen) I like to be on bottom, with a man who is all hot and
              sweaty on top of me.
    (wel) you ever feel horny?
    (colleen) Yes.....
    (wel) your pussy will feel the heat of my dick
    (wel) so...you touch yourself very often?
    (colleen) I don't have a pussy :)
    (colleen) I love to stroke myself.
    (wel) ARe you gay or bi?
    (colleen) I guess it depends on my mood.
    (colleen) Are you a hot, sweaty man?
    (wel) what other way do you like to stroke your dick?
    (wel) I got a question, are you m/f?
    (colleen) guess
    (colleen) I'm whatever you want me to be.
    (wel) can you be a girl and let me fuck your red hot pussy?
    (colleen) Yu have to taste me first.
    (colleen) Do you want to?
    (wel) taste your pussy? yes only pussy.
    (wel) frankly, I am not guy or bi.
    (colleen) Are you a hungry man?
    (wel) I will till the end of day if you have a pussy, but
          I bet youi don't
    (wel) I am a fucking hungry man who only wants girl.
    (colleen) Don't you want to pretend I'm your little girl?
    (wel) and sure, if you write like one.
    (colleen) You wouldn't like it if I told you how hard you
              were making me hungery man?
    (wel) Nope, please don't tell that,that turn me off
    (wel) as I told you, I am straigt
    (colleen) Will you nibble on my ears?
    (colleen) I have bunny earings on
    (wel) yes, I like to softly blow into your earhole.
    (colleen) Oh tell me more
    (wel) I like to bite your ear slightly and then grab your
          waist to me.
    (colleen) Pull me so very tight
    (wel) I can feel your tits up against my hairly chest.
    (colleen) We're both getting so hard
    (wel) can you feel my dick?  write like a girl.
    (colleen) Oh bite my nipples.
    (wel) I slowly take off your tiny little t-shirt..........
    (wel) I discover your big breast.......so pretty.
    (wel) I start kissing your neck, brushing your long blonde
          hair aside.
    (colleen) brown
    (wel) slowly, I kiss down your throat.
    (wel) down to your breast.
    (wel) I rip yours bra off and start kissing your nipple
          vigoursly.
    (colleen) Are you touching yourself?
    (wel) why don't you start hand jobbing my dick on my jean.
    (wel) hell yes, response to me.
    (colleen) I want to feel you dick againest my ass
    (wel) write me more, I am rubbing my shaft.
    (colleen) Its not hairy at all.
    (colleen) Turn me around and sloely tug at my shorts
    (colleen) I want to feel your hard cock as you mount me
              from behind
    (wel) more and more..........
    (colleen) Are you realy this hard up?
    (wel) I am hard as a rock now...
    (colleen) Slowly gulide yourself inside me.. OOOHHH!
    (wel) I pump your pussy back and forth.
    (colleen) I have never felt anything as good, except for
              this one time I met this guy named frank....
    (colleen) MY ASSS!
    (colleen) I want your hard cock in my asshole, and I have
              brown hair
    (wel) write like a girl, ok?
    (wel) all I see is a girl's ass and pussy and tits.
    (colleen) Kiss my ears while you pump me from behind
    (colleen) Rubbing my chest, firmly
    (colleen) I can feel the pessure mounting inside both of us.
    (colleen) Do you want me?
    (wel) well if you are a girl.
    (wel) I guess I will talk to you later.
    (colleen) My dick is throbbing for you.
    (colleen) Ohhhh.
    (wel) yo, get a life, queeer.
    

    An IRC Cops Tells Me a Thing or Two:

    (Kristina) I need to talk to you for a sec.
    (rbcp) shoot, bitch
    (Kristina) okay, first of all, I hear you are harrassing
               people on this network.
    (rbcp) i ain't harassin' noone, you pig eyed sack of shit
    (rbcp) and?
    (rbcp) whatelse?
    (Kristina) if I have to akill your site.. I'm going to
               notify ever user online and ask them to contact
               your ISP concerning you.. and I'm going to contact
               your ISP myself and ask them to remove your account.
    (rbcp) and i'm sure you have plenty of influence over them. do it
    (Kristina) thats it.  Just enough to keep you off this
               network and off the internet until you find another
               ISP that'll give you another account.
    (rbcp) okay, sweet tits
    (rbcp) you betcha
    

    [Curiously, nothing ever happened. They didn't even kill me
    off of dalnet.]



    Letters

    your page sucks i hope sesame street sues your stupid ass

    [email protected]

    [This is actually a condensed version of this guy's letter. He
    attempted what an AOLer considers a mail bomb which is to post
    the same line over and over about 20 times.]


    hey, don't really know you, but i read pla and i know dhate was into the pla,
    so i thought this might be a way to find him. see, about, hell, about a year
    or less ago dhate was on his way to my house in seattle, washington, before
    he was to meet up with you guys in illinois or whereever. anyways, he made
    it as far as his mother's house after he stole his grandma's car and after
    him and zak called up and harass my mother (i never thanked them for that) i
    lost contact with dhate. if you know anything, drop me a note, as it's kinda
    been bugging me for the last 6 months or so.

    -mistawho

    [Anyone? Anyone know the answer?]


    A very simple way to get a new 300mhz, 21" monitor, 128mg of ram is to go to
    best buy with a friend, carry all the goods around, go to pay for your $5000
    new computer, before paying have friend sound fire alarm (by opening up one
    of those doors), you run out screeming fire (with computer on hand) into your
    car and drive of.

    -Submarine


    Thanks for the file on taking over fred myers intercom system. I used to live
    in the seattle area and fred myer is like a big thing there, and this trick
    also works on Home Depot intercom systems. As you know home depot is the
    largest chain of hardware stores in america now. It is kind of funny to stand
    in line to pay for lumber and someone says over a loud speaker, "price check
    on the variety pack of black and decker tampons--industrial strength."

    goldeneye


    Your cordless phone conversations were really funny. I have a police scanner
    but don't know where to look for the cordless conversations. Do you have a
    list of the frequencies?

    Thanks,
    Eric

    [I did forget to list them, although the 10 channel cordless
    freqs were listed in a previous issue a few years ago. Here
    are all of the 25 46MHz Cordless Phone Frequencies:

                            Channel   Base     Handset
                               1      43.720   48.760
                               2      43.740   48.840
                               3      43.820   48.860
                               4      43.840   48.920
                               5      43.920   49.000
                               6      43.960   49.080
                               7      44.120   49.100
                               8      44.160   49.160
                               9      44.180   49.200
                              10      44.200   49.240
                              11      44.320   49.280
                              12      44.360   49.360
                              13      44.400   49.400
                              14      44.460   49.480
                              15      44.480   49.500
                              16      46.610   49.670
                              17      46.630   49.845 (B)
                              18      46.670   49.860 (C)
                              19      46.710   49.770
                              20      46.730   49.875 (D)
                              21      46.770   49.830 (A)
                              22      46.830   49.890 (E)
                              23      46.870   49.930
                              24      46.930   49.990
                              25      46.970   49.970
    

    The A,B,C,D and E channels are also used for baby monitors which can sometimes
    let you listen in on a whole section of the house if the parents are stupid
    enough to leave it turned on all day.

    The 900 MHz Cordless Phones are getting more common as they become cheaper
    and you can hear them from further away, but they periodically switch channels
    in the middle of conversations and it's hard to find the same conversation
    again once it's switched. If your scanner has 900 MHz capability, try scanning
    in the 902.000 - 928.000 range.]


    I'd just like to say that you guys are the worst prank-callers I've ever
    heard in my years of listening to prank calls. Your subjects are fucken
    stupid, you honestly sound like your 12 years old (which you probably

    are) all of you (get some balls and dick hair) You guys probably think
    your the best but you make the Jerky Boys look like kings. I sent this
    letter to the rest of your corny ass friends. Final Note: Get a new
    hobby you pimply bastards!!!!!!!! **!!!YOU SUCK!!!**

    ThickSistaLover


    I've got a story for you. Within walking distance from my house (about
    half a mile) is an IL Bell (now known as Ameritech) shit whats it called
    (now this story is real credible eh?) well a repair station, where they
    park all of their trucks.

    After months of driving by it drooling, a friend of mine decided it was
    time to scale the fence and see what was inside the huge dumpster, and
    try to see if some of the trucks were unlocked.

    The dumpster was bogus. It was filled to the TOP of it with broken
    asphalt, roofing, all sorts of weird shit we didn't expect to see. So
    we quickly moved over to the storage shed, which was locked. So we
    didn't get in. There wasn't any windows and it was one of those "Grampa
    Ed built it himself with no hands" type of shed that was made of rusty
    sheet metal that made horrendous noise whenever touched. So we left it
    alone. Right by it, but too large to steal (or get into our car
    actually) was a phone booth laying on its side, with no phone. It
    woulda been cool to have.

    Since the parking lot was huge, we decided to split up. It was about
    2am on a Sunday night. The parking lot was lit, but not brightly.
    So all the trucks but two were locked, of what I found, and I got the
    hard hat, a really cool rechargable drill, tools galore, some lady's ID
    badge with magnetic tape on the back that we were too chicken to try to
    get into the building with (talk about jail time eh? That's like
    admitting we broke into the trucks), grey phone boxes like on the back
    of someones house (lots of 'em in one of the trucks), a conviently
    placed cardboard box to throw a lot of this stuff in, a big leather belt
    loaded with tools, one of those cool screwdriver type things that Elwood
    uses in the Blues Brothers to rip open the panel in the elevator, those
    big phone wiring panels for PBX's, a voltage tester, two testsets (one
    cool and brand new, one old and beat up), a cool adaptor that I should
    duplicate, it was to convert aligator clip testsets to an RJ11 plug.
    WAy cool and way useful.

    My friend found an IL BELL jumpsuit that reeked of gasoline. That was
    his score, and after he stuffed that into his car, I started handing
    armfulls of this stuff for him to return to the car, and eventually just
    started chucking the non-shock sensitive equipment over the fence.

    We left. We thought about dropping the stuff off at one of our houses
    since if we ever got pulled over with all of this, that wouldn't be
    cool, but we went for donuts instead (no, no cops) and I convinced him
    to go back for more.

    He kept the car running and I went to the Great Big IL Van in the
    parking lot. It had tinted windows, and locked doors. I wanted to get
    in. I kicked the back door (the trunk I suppose) and it opened. Wow,
    so I climb in and theres a LAPTOP and CELLULAR MODEM and A DESK WITH
    LOTS OF COOL PAPERWORK AND ETC. Were I a complete geek I would have
    been orgasmic, but instead i just had a stiffy. So I am gathering all
    of this and making my way to the exit when... about three IL BELL trucks
    started to pull up.

    And my friends car wasn't anywhere to be seen.

    I had NOWHERE to hide. I could have hid behind various bell trucks but
    you could see under them due to the lighting that was periodically
    placed around. I saw two of those green "power" boxes that you see in
    yards on occasion and tore towards them (with the laptop). They offered
    about 50% cover depending on what direction anyone could be coming, but
    I was always exposed in some manner. If anyone came down the major
    street (that the trucks always do) or came into the lot along the side

    street that was connected to the major street to get in and park, I
    would have to expose myself to the other respective street. So I did a
    lot of moving.

    The guys stayed a long time and did lots of talking. I didnt have a 2
    way radio at the time and if I did I wouldnt have used it, as I would
    have undoubtedly been heard. (this made for a good adrenaline high for
    the duration of this adventure). Eventually i just had to make a break
    for it and slid the laptop near the fence by some bushes and scaled the
    thing and booked off.

    I eventually found my friend circling the area, and neither of us could
    believe that these guys were out at 3:30am on a sunday. around 5am we
    went back and I retrieved the laptop.

    THere was a lot of interesting stuff on it, but the cellular modem was
    lost in the escape and I was no way in hell going to dial any of those
    numbers from my phone. That same friend stole a worldport 9600 bps
    modem from where he worked at the time, and that didn't work because
    there wasn't enough voltage coming from the laptop. or something. thats
    what we deduced from the worldport manual... We had planned to call the
    numbers from the back of a laundromat we had staked out a few weeks
    before and determined to be safe for call making activity. So that
    didnt happen, and there was no power outlets anywhere to be found in the
    back of the laundromat, so I couldnt just bring an external modem and
    plug in. So I never called any of these numbers, and I eventually sold
    the lap top to some guy that never paid me in full and moved to a far
    away state so I could harass him. Im over it now, but im sure all the
    data on the laptop was erased so he could install windows or something.

    I haven't done anything "cool" with phones/bell crap in a few years, but
    that adventure had be burned out for a while. I'd done some diving
    since but nothing good ever turned up.

    And I've NEVER seen any locks on garbage of bell places, just on the
    garbage of computer places (which are also good places to trash at).

    Hyperturtle

    [A few of the Bell buildings I've trashed at have their
    dumpsters locked by wrapping a chain around the top, over
    the lids. What they don't seem to realize is that plastic
    is flexible and you just have to step on top of the dumpster's
    lid to get inside. Cool story!]


    Perhaps you already know, but about a week ago I read in a Swedish newspaper
    about "Demon Phreaker" beeing busted for playing in 407 area in USA. I can't
    find that article but it said something like:

    XX year old guy from Gothenburg, Sweden (I think it was Gothenburg, and i
    dont rememer his age) was busted today, 9701 something for via a "telecom
    switch" call for free to the 407 area in USA and connect various 911 lines
    to each other and so. Also, they mentioned that he calls himself "Demon
    Phreaker" and also said that he had acted cocky when he was in court. I
    like that part with beeing cocky. :-) I will try to find that article and
    translate it into english, it was a quite SMALL article so.. Hopefully I
    can find it!

    Anyways, the PLA sure is fun reading, please keep the good work up, when
    I get my FTP site up and running, PLA will for sure have a dir there.

    // Motion +46 Posse

    [I hadn't heard a thing about this but I certainly do remember
    Demon Phreaker from my Defcon Voice Bridge days. He's the one
    who managed to make a TDD operator cry.]


    When you get a PO box at Mail Boxes Etc. (PLA043) do they actually keep the
    I.D. you give them? Do they write down all the info on the I.D.? Or do they
    want it to see how old you are or just make sure you exist?

    [They definately won't keep the ID. It's possible they might
    want to photocopy it since most post offices have a copy machine
    around, although that's never happened to me. Most places just
    want to write down the information on your ID such as your
    birthdate and address and sometimes, the DL number.]

    Another thing I remember you having a file on getting free disks through
    AOL and you said to order them one by one to save you some trouble tell them
    that your with a small computer business and you need to order around 250
    disks. To make it seem more realistic order 75 Macintosh kits 75 DOS kits and
    100 Windows kits.

    Oxygen

    [Wow, that's a killer idea. Thanks, I'll have to try that out.]


    I have a number of some really idiotic people that I'd like to submit for the
    numbers file.. 607-785-8736. These people live in a trailer park... maybe that
    says enough about them haha.. My friends and I can kill hours bothering these
    morons. I first started fucking with them when they submitted a complaint to
    the resturant where I worked at the time that went something like this: "we
    ate our dinner, then came home, we had diareeha (sp?) for two weeks then we
    took a laxative, before we went there we did not have no diareeha!" Hahha..
    We're allways telling them we're gonna tow their fucking house away with a
    Dodge Ram Pickup while they're sleeping hahaha..

    L8r...
    Beavis


    A year or two ago, I got a hold of a large, yellow, handset with a thumb
    joystick, 6 or 8 line screen, and built in 1200 bps modem. I hadn't the
    slightest idea what it was for, I imagined COSMOS or something like that.
    After perusing the local BBS's, they suggested a number to call with it,
    and believe it or not, the battery went dead just as it was connecting.
    So I let it charge for a day or so (it didn't take the typical 9 volt the
    red handsets would take. After all, it wasnt a typical handset)

    When I called the number back, I got a lady that said "Bueno!" and then
    I hung up. I called back again and got the same thing.

    I tried calling various BBS's with it, just to see what it would do, but
    the screen wouldn't give me anything.

    When not connected anywhere, there was a menu with a series of items,
    like test line, call mainframe, and call various numbers that you had
    stored. there were no numbers stored in this unit at all. Adding them
    was easily enough done, you would hold the keypad number for so many
    seconds as there was a letter (so B would be holding down the 2 button
    for 2 seconds) and then at the end you'd be prompted for the name and
    address. It was somewhat similar to a Sharp Wizard organizer when it
    came to storing numbers, although very much limited.

    There was a switch on the right hand side that had three selections:
    Phone, monitor (phone with mute, I assume. Thats how it acted anyway),
    and Modem. I determined the speed of the modem by calling my own modem
    with it. Have you seen/heard anything like this? If not, I'll see about
    scanning a picture of it and sending it to you.

    Hyperturtle


    I was looking through PLA 039 and I saw something about a telco guy plugging
    a laptop into a pay phone at subway, I believe it was an Itronix T5000 EFP.
    I was able to "borrow" one of those from a GTE guy who was working
    by my house.

    --DETHMaster


    i saw in one of your more recent issues your article on getting a new id.
    i liked it, however it wasn't immesnly practical for the person in serious
    need of a permanant id. the ones you create through your method are not
    quite stable until you get a large amount of id's and cards to substantiate
    your id. one of our
    members happens to be very knowledgable in the area and i thought you may
    be interested in his article. zyd's good, we know is name, the name he
    currently uses, however not even we know the name he was born with. check
    out www.tacd.com, there is a link off the main page to zyd's paper tripping
    article. he gives some good info and additionally gives a few refernces.
    just thought you may be interested.

    wraith

    [I've checked it out and it is indeed very informative and brings
    up some ideas I'd never thought of. However, my methods of
    creating IDs are more stable than you think. I lived under a
    false name, held two jobs, got a check cashing card and apartment
    in Indianapolis all from a photocopy of a fake driver's license
    and social security card and stayed there for over eight months.
    Then I did the same in Celina, Ohio for three months, then Oregon
    for almost a year. So as long as you don't wanna drive anywhere
    (I personally hate cars), it's good ID to have.]


    This message was sent to you by NaughtyRobot, an Internet spider that
    crawls into your server through a tiny hole in the World Wide Web.

    NaughtyRobot exploits a security bug in HTTP and has visited your host
    system to collect personal, private, and sensitive information.

    It has captured your Email and physical addresses, as well as your phone
    and credit card numbers. To protect yourself against the misuse of this
    information, do the following:

            1. alert your server SysOp,
            2. contact your local police,
            3. disconnect your telephone, and
            4. report your credit cards as lost.
    

    Act at once. Remember: only YOU can prevent DATA fires.

    This has been a public service announcement from the makers of
    NaughtyRobot -- CarJacking its way onto the Information SuperHighway.

    [Oh shit, I should phear NaughtyRobot. He might max out my
    Visa bank card for the whole entire ten dollars.]


    RBCP-
    First I just want to say that you have to be one of my favorite zine
    writers. You are hillarious :). Second, in your article about beige
    boxing in Celina, you mention a specially cut allen wrench to open

    payphones. I was wondering if you have any text, pictures or anything
    on how you can make one.

    Thanks a lot,
    [email protected]

    [The allen wrench is just a normal looking allen wrench that has
    a deep groove cut into each end (making it appear as if it were
    hollow) so that it will fit the "screws" holding together most
    pay phone stands. To see what I'm talking about, look at the
    bottom panel of just about any pay phone. I've yet to find any
    of these wrenches in any hardware store.]


    I was sexually asualted by a man with a hard hat, and a lineman handset. The
    public has a right to know about this. I was innocently riding my bike down
    the street...while wearing a PLA shirt, and throwing flyers advertising PLA,
    when a big gray truck pulled up alongside of me. A man with a orange hard hat
    with a bell etched in it, and a orange fone with clips on it and lots of
    buttons walked towards me and asked me who i was.

     me: hello there sir
    guy: hello sonny. i see yer with that group PLA huh?
     me: oh yeah! wanna see my official membership card?
    guy: no i wanna see yer undie pants!
     me: oh no!my underwear? why you want to see them
    guy: this is a strip search..i am searching for long
         objects (i strip down to my undies)
         (bell guy feels me)
     me: why are you feeling my weiner?
    guy: its a routine test son
     me: get the hell out of here you flaming faggot!
    guy: hey..it gets kinda boring with 1,000,000 pranks
         a day ya know!
     me: PLA will get you for this! (he jumps on me and
         trys to anally rape me)
    

    This is when i hit the fag with a baseball bat 20 times. His ears are bleeding
    and he is dying, i spit in his face and walk away. This is how i beat up a
    bell guy trying to rape me!

    Nytrocrash

    [Wow, that's pretty harsh. Thanks for alerting others to
    what's really going on out there and hopefully preventing

    this from happening again.]


    hey i got a question i've been redboxing for about a year now, and the
    only patfones i can box off of are the ones in my high school, they look
    just like regular nynex payfones but the operator always comes on and
    tells me that she isn't showing that i put in any quarters in the fone
    but she never accuses me of using a redbox or anything.

    Bill

    [Some phones are just impossible to red box from. I had similar
    problems in Indianapolis where only about 50% of the phones in
    the city would work. I tried everything, but the other Bell
    phones just wouldn't work, unless I bypassed the pay phone
    altogether. In most cases it's because the mouthpiece is
    muted and it can't hear your red box until money is deposited
    and the call has connected. If you want to put in your first
    $3.00 of real money, you can usually use red box tones after
    that.]


    After reading PLA 43, I've been inspired to start a lovely collection of
    other peoples' birth certificates. I'm using the chronicled newspapers at
    the state library on microfiche to find out middle names and mothers
    maiden names in the births column, so my lovely boss Dave-o the
    De-vo(lved.) is first on my list (cos he's 18, and he can buy cool stuff.
    And I could get him into trouble.), followed closely by Jimmy Jammy Jokey
    Jerky Jamey (he's just a dickhead.) . He's getting a lovely dead rose from
    us for Valentines day. Aren't we nice.

    Later!!
    Jimmy Jammy Jokey Jerky Dino Allsman.


    Regarding the liscence plate idea with 7-11 clerks, you might find it
    effective to, instead of SPENDING MONEY to get a fake plate made, to instead
    acquire the clerk's plates (or even the manager's). Your swiss army knife is
    your friend. On top of it all, the loser has to get another set of plates.

    Steve Hawley


    I was wondering how easy it is to get caught using faxback numbers? I've
    been using the two hour long one for about two weeks. I always call from a
    pay phone, a couple of times a day. But I have heard that the person I am
    using it on has called the police, and the phone company. I have been in
    trouble with the law for phone harrassment, and I don't want it to happen
    again. Any feedback you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

    Oh, and by the way, if you know any PLA members who would like to help me
    harrass someone, his name is Gary Stone,(everyone calls him stoney)
    Lafayette IN, 47905, phone# 317-474-5423.

    Demon

    [Being in your situation, I wouldn't take any risks. Use a pay
    phone. All of the fax-backs I've listed use an 800 number which
    means that the company you're using does have your number,
    along with everyone else who's called them.

    First, the person you're harassing would have to figure out
    that it's a fax-machine calling them day and night. Then they'd
    have to figure out what company it was, which wouldn't be that
    hard since the company name and number will show up on a caller
    ID box. THEN they have to figure out the company's voice number
    and arrange for them to check and see what number is dialing
    in to send them faxes.

    I've tried this myself with several companies, pretending to be
    a victim of fax-harassment and didn't get anywhere with them.
    Of course, I didn't try to get the phone company or police to
    help me. So the risk is there, but it's rather slim, especially
    if your target is retarded. The only way to be 100% safe is to
    use a pay phone.]

    Nekid Amy nude workout pics now available!
    E-mail [email protected] for info.

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