PLA Super Store

PLA's Online Store
Welcome to PLA’s Online Store. The largest supplier of PLA merchandise on the entire interweb! If you’re too lazy to drive to one of our hundreds of retail outlets across the U.S., then this is the place for you. If you want a PLA shirt that we no longer carry, you can probably find it at our SpreadShirt store. The PLA store now accepts PayPal, Bitcoin, Google Wallet, and Amazon payments.

PLA: THE BOOK – $12.00 This is the PLA Book, entitled Phone Losers of America. It’s approximately 310 pages and includes many of the popular stories from and, plus a few other things that can’t be found on the site. Included are stories about Dino, credit card fraud, call forwarding scams, red boxing, taking over store intercoms, Big Larry, being homeless, Curtis the Superhacker, wacky morning DJs, how to find a job, the Boulder News frenzy, eBay and McDonalds pranks, and lots more. More information on the book can be found here.The price options below reflect the $12 book, plus shipping to your specific country. If your country isn’t listed, just choose the price that you think it will be. If you pay too much, we’ll refund the difference. You can also buy this book from, Barnes & Noble, CreateSpace!

Click here to buy the PLA book!

You can also buy the e-book version for your Kindle, for your Nook, or for other formats. Or if you want to get the electronic version for free, get it here, but then you’re required to support us in other ways.

You can find several styles of PLA shirts at our Spreadshirt store, such as the athletic style, the 2012 tour shirt and the Obey The Cactus shirt. Here is a picture of a brown Obey The Cactus shirt and here’s a white one. The quality is very good for print-on-demand shirts and so far there are no reports of them majorly fading or peeling from laundry. You can buy them from

PLA 2″ VINYL STICKERS – $5.00 FOR 10 STICKERSThese vinyl stickers are 2″ in diameter with “Phone Losers of America” written around a PLA logo. For a mere $5.00 you’ll get ten of these stickers, which will look great on all of your personal belongings. Click on the “add to cart” button to order these stickers. If you’d like to see more pictures of this sticker, then click here.

Click here to buy 2″ vinyl stickers!

Click here for a larger view of 1 inch PLA stickersPLA 1″ VINYL STICKERS – $5.00 FOR 10 STICKERSThese black vinyl stickers are approximately 1″ in diameter and contain only the PLA logo on them. For $5.00 you’ll get ten of these stickers, or $1.00 for one of them.

Click here to buy 1″ vinyl logo stickers!

Click here for a larger view of Obey stickersOBEY THE CACTUS VINYL STICKERS – $5.00 FOR 10 STICKERSThese vinyl stickers are approximately 1.25″ x 2″ with a cartoon cactus reading OBEY THE CACTUS. For $5.00 you’ll get ten of these stickers, or $1.00 for one of them.

Click here to buy Obey The Cactus stickers!

MECHANICAL PENCILS (PACK OF 4) – $6.00 Our pencils read PHONE LOSERS OF AMERICA “The happiest place in Roy, New Mexico!” and come in 4 colors – black, blue, red and green. You can order a single pencil, but that’s STUPID! Just buy a set of all 4 colors for $6.00 instead.

Click here to buy mechanical pencils!

GIRLY PENCILS (PACK OF 5) – $4.00 The place I ordered these pencils from had a very misleading photo, leading me to believe that the pencils I ordered would be normal, dark colors. Instead, they sent me pencils in light pastels. For only $4.00 you will receive 5 round (not hexagon shaped) pencils that read “Phone Losers of America – – Cactus?” on them. The print is white and you can barely read it because it’s on light pastel colored pencils. You get 1 of each color, which are Girly Green, Pretty Purple, Beautiful Blue, Unitard Yellow and Peachy Pink. If you feel you’re not getting beat up in school nearly enough, these pencils should help you with that problem!

Click here to buy dumb girly pencils!

DOG TAG/KEYCHAIN – $8.00 PLA dog tags come in various colors and are laser-etched with the PLA logo and title on both sides. One side reads “Cactus?” and the other side reads “Cactus!” Each one includes a 24″ chain for wearing around your neck, but most people just ditch the chain and put the tag on their key ring. The tag you receive may have a different font than what is pictured here. Click here for a larger picture and more colors.If you’d like to personalize your PLA keychain with your own name instead of “Cactus?” then visit our supplier, Etch Plus, and have them make your own for a slightly cheaper price. You can use this PLA logo on their ordering page.

Click here to buy dog tags!

RUBBER BRACELET – $5.00 This is a black rubber bracelet that reads “Phone Losers of America” in orange text. In the picture is a medium and a large bracelet.

Click here to buy dozens of rubber bracelets

PRANK CALL CD – CAN I HELP YOU? – $6.00 (plus $2.00 shipping) This CD features calls by murd0c, Carlito from Madhouse Live, RBCP and The Spessas. You’ll get to hear about 73 minutes of our customer service calls from 2002 to 2012.Just a disclaimer – these calls are all available on various parts of for free. You won’t be getting anything new or unavailable by buying this CD, aside from a professionally packaged CD with original artwork on it.

Click here to buy a Compact Disc like it’s 1996!

Click here to buy this album from Bandcamp.

Click here to download this album for FREE!

PLA BUTTONS – $1.00 for small ones and $2.00 for large ones.


Customize your clothing, your backpack or your nipple piercings with these stylish PLA-themed button pins. Buttons are available in small 1″ sizes or larger 2.25″ sizes and there are a variety of designs to choose from.If you’d like to look at our extensive collection of PLA buttons that you can order, then click here.

Don’t disappoint your boss – Buy your 37 pieces of flair at the PLA Store!