So why have I started my very own front porch show? Since I've lived in this house, I've been constantly tormented by door-to-door religious salespeople. Now I have nothing again religious people but these people that come to the door are relentless in trying to talk about God with me, praying with me and trying to get me to go to their church. I've tried many many times to be nice. They ask if I go to church and I lie and say yes. They ask which church and I give them the name of some church I've been to at some point over the past few years. They start telling me why my church is evil. Once a 14-year-old girl came up to my door and tried to pray with me while her parents stood in the street watching. Another time, a couple of old ladies come up while I'm in the yard playing with the kids. They stand there in my yard, telling me what cute kids I have and trying to make small talk about religion. I finally have to ask them to leave us alone when they start trying to talk to the kids. Another time, a couple of ladies were coming up the sidewalk as I was leaving the house. They asked if I wanted to talk about church and I told them no thanks, I was on my way out. "Is your wife home," they ask. I tell them yes but she's sleeping so please don't knock on the door. As I get to my car I notice that they're knocking on the door. Argh!

Around that point, I started being an asshole to all of them. These old men showed up one day and I told them I hated God and I hoped that they got hit by a bus while they were walking around the neighborhood. Most of the time, though, I would just say no thanks and shut the door. Sometime in 2003 I upgraded my porch camera to a system that had a built-in intercom on it so I could tell people to go away without having to go downstairs to the door. So that turned out to be a major convenience for me, religious people didn't like talking to a speaker as much as a real person. But then, in April of 2003, I decided to hook up a few VCRs to the cameras so that I could videotape myself talking to these people since some funny things had happened by talking to people with the intercom. And that's where it started. Unfortunately, not one single religious salesperson came to my door during the summer of 2003. Not while I was home, anyway. But I've still had a lot of fun with the cameras and intercom and plenty of people have visited me since then.