Comments on: Prank Calls by Mark Knophler

By: Kipduran

Kipduran — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 04:34:03 +0000

My buddy got this stuff on cassette in the fall of 1985 at Western KY Univ. We made copies of it, put away in a safe and have called it The Precious ever since.

By: BChil

BChil — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 01:29:16 +0000

@Jim gulley – There are several holes in your theory. For example, it seems odd that “Mark” would reference the 1986 Goodwill Games 2-3 years after they were held, no? Also, my recent audio-restoration efforts have revealed that there are people talking in the background almost constantly, which is strange since he “worked alone 9pm-5:30am shift at an actual plant.”

My guess is that “Nahhhh! You’e full of shit! (click)” – to quote Bertha Webb’s husband. I would love to hear this other tape that you mention though…

By: BChil

BChil — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 01:18:51 +0000

I used to run the old bchil.net site mentioned at the top of this page. I recently put up a website to host a much cleaner, UNCUT and UNCENSORED version of all 16 tracks. The files can be downloaded immediately at http://www.beforethejerkyboys.com

Future posts on my site will address many of the questions posed in these comments. Including: Why did I backward-mask the names? Why did I censor certain words from it? Why did I purposefully misspell the last as Knoffler? Etc…

See ya soon!

By: Collin from da 435

Collin from da 435 — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 23:41:20 +0000

Nice, I have been looking for more of Marks calls. before I founds this site there are only a couple of youtube.

I had no idea these calls have been around this long. Me and my buddies found out about them back in late 90′s (the dial up days) and we couldnt get enough. thanks for sharing.

Your wife…………right

She aint f’n married!

Haha the best!

By: rbcp

rbcp — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 23:26:30 +0000

Hey Jim, let Mark know to contact me so I can interview him. My email is rbcp@phonelosers.org and I’m the webmaster of this site.

By: Jim gulley

Jim gulley — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:41:37 +0000

I don’t know if anybody still reads this but I know who “Mark” is. You are right the calls were from Delaware in 88-89. There were two tapes, 1-Neurological Proctology and 2-The three faces of putty. “Mark” made these calls from his desk where he worked alone 9pm-5:30am shift at an actual plant. “Mark” would sometimes take acid and make these phone calls. He let me borrow the tapes and I made a copy for a friend who went to college in Florida. Apparently they spread like wild fire. We all laughed till we could not speak. The second tape is not as good as this one called neurological proctology

By: raul

raul — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 00:13:05 +0000

Awesome. Had original.tape in.early. to mid 90s. Classic. I.don’t wanna f*cj that fat pregnant Bitch!

By: Dianna

Dianna — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 16:38:21 +0000

These are hilarious!!! We also used to have a cassette tape of these prank calls back in the 80′s… There was one that we really liked, it was titled “Margaret”… Please post it if you still have a copy… Nobody in our family has one of the cassettes anymore… Thanks..

By: CS Bellbrook

CS Bellbrook — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 05:54:18 +0000

I first heard MK (with a jerky boys side) at Wright State U. In Dayton OH around spring of 1991. We listened in a parking lot where I nearly pissed myself. We copied and gave versions out to friends at Miami OH, Cincy, OHio St and BGSU. I will never forget Amanda White and the Smegma Picnic…I recall he used the term Smicnic in one version, so I find myself saying that once in a while 20+ years later…hilarious!!

By: Neil McCaully

Neil McCaully — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:28:38 +0000

Who is the real Mark??? I want to know!!

By: ben

ben — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 08:39:01 +0000

I would be willing to bet ANYTHING that the identity of “mark knopfler” is the one and only BILL HICKS, comedian-extraordinaire.
Texas accent, voice, mannerisms, reactions, style, substance, the proposed time-period of the recordings…

BILL HICKS IS MARK KNOPFLER.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 07:37:10 +0000

I got this tape in the early 90′s and I’ve been giving it a good listen lately. After a lot of thought I really believe that the prank calling “Mark Knopfler” is actually Bill Hicks. Give them both a good listen and your mind will be blown!

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 03:07:18 +0000

Here’s your proof that Mark was near and/or targeted the Dover, DE area.

http://400.co.kent.de.us/cgi-bin/web001cl?MAPPIN=2-05-06814-01-4200-00001

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 08:03:44 +0000

These calls are probably up to the mid 1980′s.
The dial tones I hear started in the late 70′s. It would have to be before *69 came out. One thing I hate about advanced technology is that I can’t have fun anymore. I used to do similar things before *69.

By: pat

pat — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 08:20:44 +0000

I got a copy like 92….and the early Jerky Boys were on the other side of tape…..that was the talk around Delaware when this was going around….don’t really know of the he was from here…It’s a F’NPrank Hang Up

By: T-LO

T-LO — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 20:54:43 +0000

I had it too !!!!! I can’t even find someone to buy it from without the last names blurted out

By: sn00ps

sn00ps — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 09:08:38 +0000

ok, i listened to these links. someone edited the last names out of my master? thats weak! i cannot understand why anyone would do that, but hey, at least these are here. i will be attempting to find my original master in the next few days, and put it on public file share, and paste the link here. i may not be able to find all of it, but i should be able to find some, for certain. the edits removing the names were not done by me, and they are not smooth edits even, plus they disrupt the flow of the conversation. unacceptable.

By: sn00ps

sn00ps — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 05:33:46 +0000

The only thing edited was the charlie knighton. no names were removed. if someone has removed the names from these files, then they further edited the master. at the time i wished to give these recordings to several friends who are black, and more than that, i felt it was funnier if that sortve hatred wasnt in it. charlie and his wife were far more enraged with the coy innuendo at home made porn, and there was already obvious racial tension to the call. on both sides of it. i will consider uploading the original master if i can find it.

By: sn00ps

sn00ps — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 05:18:05 +0000

the person selling those cds got them off hotline. i know this, because i was the person who remastered these from cassette. at the time i felt it best to edit that one word from the recordings. im very glad to see someone has again provided a public outlet for them. if you know anything about who was selling them, i would be quite interested to know. anyone interested in tech details, they were converted with a jvc cassette deck, a creative labs awe32 card, and soundforge 5.0 on windows 2000. summer 2000. you can find me on efnet, if you are irc savvy. P’z

By: Brian S. from Canton, Oh

Brian S. from Canton, Oh — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 20:31:01 +0000

I first heard the MK recordings around 89-92 era.A friends dad said he found the blank cassette with the recordings in a NY bar while out of town. The cassette had the words “Hey Jerky” hand written on the label.The sound wasn’t the best quality but what it contained was priceless.

Most of the recordings were of the early Jerky Boys and then there were the MK stuff. I can really only remember the Amanda White and Charlie Knighten calls being on there. And he definitely called Charlie a dumb fucking nigger on my recording, lol. There was also a guy calling a hotel i believe and wanting a room with mirrors above the bed. And he also mentioned something about having one eye and being skull fucked or something to that nature. Great shit! I still have a copy to this day. I always wondered if the MK caller was affiliated with the Jerky Boys or if it was a coincidence. I’d love more insight on this cassette if anyone can offer.

By: Danny

Danny — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 19:33:35 +0000

I remember listening to these calls online with my co-workers. We started quoting the calls in our everyday conversations. Like when answering a question we would say “no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” like Charlie. My favorite line is “tricks are for kids.” And the Good Will games? That takes me back.

By: “Let me just fill you in on a little detail hereâ€¦this is a prank phone call, is what it isâ€¦” – The highs and lows of “Mark Knopfler” « The Brown Tweed Society

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:03:37 +0000

[...] If traded versions of poorly-dubbed crank-call tapes had a Robert Christgau or Lester Bangs, the Mark Knoffler Album would be viewed as the genre’s Exile on Main Street. For music aficionados in the pre-P2P era, [...]

By: Craig

Craig — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 04:02:38 +0000

What about the Lynwood Wiely one ? Is this Lynwood yeah this is Lynwood. Let me get my glasses so I can see who I am talking to LOL yeah get your bifocals so you can see me. That one was classic. ANyone at al know how to get a hold of the unediteds? please post

By: Craig

Craig — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 03:56:33 +0000

Me and my freinds listend to this so much back in late 88 or 89 90 that we could quot word for word. Priceless.. I wore out my tape and now I can make a CD so glad I ran accross this. I would also like to say the edited version of the Charlie Knight call is kinda lame takes away from it when you dont hear him call Charlie a Dumb Fucking Nigger.

By: betsy

betsy — Wed, 19 May 2010 17:28:56 +0000

Wow. No doubt that dialect is Eastern Shore. I grew up and went to college in Maryland, spitting distance from the Chesapeake Bay. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Mark Knofler was my roommate from school – they sound absolutely IDENTICAL. Can’t be the case, tho – we were in 8th grade in the late 80′s, and he’d NEVER say some of the stuff on that tape – at least not to women. LOL.

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 16 May 2010 04:53:10 +0000

Please check out my facebook fan page on Mark Knopfler and sign up

By: Bug-Man

Bug-Man — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 07:02:09 +0000

If somone could please send me or direct me to the original versions of this tape I would be so thankfull!!! stiffslowpoke@yahoo.com Against my better judgment I let a friend borrow this tape after making him swear that he would take good care of it and return it as soon as he made a copy of it. Of course he let somone else borrow it without my permission and I never saw it again.
The original versions are so much more enjoyable. Hearing how he says the names is half of what makes this tape so great. He acts like he knows these people and that they are old friends of his. I can understand cutting that stuff out if youre selling it, but putting this stuff out unedited in it’s raw form for free is the kind of thing that makes the internet so great. Infact I’m shocked that after all these years it’s still so difficult to get a hold of. There is something really special about listening to the uncut version. It makes me feel like I’m doing something I’m not suppose to be doing. One of the most annoying things about these MP3′s are the retarded radio voice tags at the end of each clip that direct you to some shitty website. If editing the names and some of the content wasn’t annoying enough then the radio DJ thing at the end of each clip makes it almost unbearable

Please help me get the raw versions stiffslowpoke@yahoo.com

By: JP

JP — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:10:18 +0000

Summer 1990- A friend from HS got a copy from his brother that was in college and a lot of us quickly copied that tape. Unfortunately mine got lost, but the internet is great! If I had to put a finger on the time I would say early 1990 or 1989

By: jassy

jassy — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 05:43:40 +0000

yeah.. I somehow got this tape in the early ninety’s also.. And I live in north TX.. And to this day, this is some of the funniest sh*t I have EVER heard.. And everyone who hears it thinks so! However/wherever it came about, all I have to say is..” youuuu betta go git you some he’p, bitch.” =)

By: Marc

Marc — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:06:19 +0000

If anyone hears the Stern clip, please let me know what you think.

By: Marc

Marc — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:05:48 +0000

Thank you Employee #8!!! It is Delaware!!

By: Marc

Marc — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:03:03 +0000

If anyone listens to Howard Stern, I am 99% sure that Richard and Sal just called Charlie Knighten. He sounds EXACTLY like him but older now and he keeps saying “You Some A Bitch You”…Like like Charlie. Did ANYONE hear this?…By the way, this guy is from Delaware.

By: Laughter from Raleigh NC

Laughter from Raleigh NC — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 15:19:26 +0000

I am God Damn Serious – I’m pissed the fuck off!!

By: Rev. Nørb

Rev. Nørb — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:49:13 +0000

I’m gettin’ pretty excited!

By: Chadzilla500

Chadzilla500 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:03:23 +0000

By the way I had this tape in late 91 early 92 in california ..sent to me by a buddy in indiana.
Loved it then and still laugh my a$$ off when i hear it!

By: Chadzilla500

Chadzilla500 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:59:59 +0000

I want to find the unedited version of these calls..can anyone help? I hate how fukin liberal our society is.

By: Employee #8

Employee #8 — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 06:00:21 +0000

No idea what made me think of looking for this tonight, but was thrilled to find it. My friends and I listened to this non stop in ’96 in Pennsylvania.

By: Employee #8

Employee #8 — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 05:58:55 +0000

The calls were made in Delaware. In addition to Odessa, Newark, and the Eastern Shore accents; the lady he calls to make dinner plans with mentions she ate lobster at the Wayside Inn in Smyrna, between Odessa and Cheswold. Check out google maps for these spots, it’s pretty straight forward.

The accent is weird and people not from the area would think it’s a southern accent.

By: Jack Mayhoffer

Jack Mayhoffer — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:16:03 +0000

Hey, asshole. Thats my wife you are fucking. Get your dick out of her ass. I Just blew my load.

By: UseSpellCheck

UseSpellCheck — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:27:11 +0000

To be honest, either you don’t know how to spell or you’re associating these crank calls with the wrong person.

However, IF it is the SAME Mark from the band Dire Straits, his last name is spelled: Knopfler.

If you’re going to use his name, at least spell it correctly.

By: Kurt Davis

Kurt Davis — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:52:35 +0000

I had this dudes tape in High School and it spread like mad in the Cinci area. I am pleased that so many other people have been touched
by him as well.

By: JT

JT — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 21:10:02 +0000

Wow, I got this tape and others in the mid 90′s and I can’t believe so many people know about it. Great page man. Well done. I hope this stuff lives forever.

By: Jerk

Jerk — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 12:47:23 +0000

These calls were made in Delaware. I am from the area. The accent is what is known as an “Eastern shore” accent. Federalsburg, Odessa, Dover: all in Delaware. Odessa is right off of Rts.13 and 1 in Northern Delaware just past the Delaware Memorial Bridge after you leave New Jersey. The big Dupont Chemical/Textile plants are all over the area and there is a”putty division” at DuPont. Check it out.

By: Debbie, Cincinnati OH

Debbie, Cincinnati OH — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:21:06 +0000

I got my hands on this tape in 1991 – a friend had it and of course I made myself a copy. Matter of fact, all my friends had copies of it – and we had the original unedited version – with full names and phone numbers. My best friend still has her copy of it and TO THIS DAY we quote from that tape — mostly “just as long as that’s clearly understood and you know what’s up” and “what is that – that you’re a-tellin’ me?” Funniest frickin’ thing ever.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:32:35 +0000

Nothing has made me laugh more over the years than the Amanda White/Charlie Knighton calls. I’m absolutely amazed that the caller has not been identified yet.

By: Paul

Paul — Fri, 29 May 2009 12:35:27 +0000

It’s obvious that he is looking through
a phone book. All the last names, except
for poor ole Charlie all start with “W”
Amanda White
Lenwood Whiley
Bertha Webb
etc… etc…

By: Daveq

Daveq — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:34:30 +0000

First heard the call in Baton Rouge in 1992. Took it with me to college in upstate New York where it spread like wildfire. I would say the Amanda White and Charlie Knighton calls were the most parsed bits of data ever amongst my group of friends – including someone noticing MK’s poetic use of appositives in the Charlie Knighton call.

By: BigBry

BigBry — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:50:52 +0000

the tape of the vulgar pianists…i was told the guy called himself “the Fucker” he did a great pornographic “candy bar poem” which talked about about one Payday mr Clark went down fifth ave. etc….classis stuff…MK was geat to hear again

By: Brian Shannon

Brian Shannon — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:11:50 +0000

First of all to those that claim they had these tapes in the 60′s…wromg. One person claims to have gotten them in 83 or 84…wrong again.

The first Goodwill Games that Ted Turner started was back in 1986. So it was some time after that. Personally the story I had gotten from the person who gave me the tape was he was from Texas but going to school at Murray State and was actually calling long distance in hopes to not get caught as easily. Wether true or not I can’t say. I do remember first hearing the tapes in the summer after my senior year in high school which would be 1990.

Not sure who ‘mark’ really is but I do know for sure they had to come after 1986. I would say it happened either in 86 or sometime in 90. The Goodwill Games are the key here. It would seem unlikey he would make mention of the Games in like 88 when there weren’t any. Unless he is just that random and frankly he probably is.

Either way they are classics and should be the standard by which all other prank calls are judged.

By: yarp

yarp — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 13:01:30 +0000

Yeah, Jims, I got them from there too way back when, but lost them. I remember the guy’s last name was Herzog and the site was herzogbr something or other. I’d love to get them from you if you ever find them!