Vonage Sammich mmmm!

Years ago, Altalp from the PLA Forums made a bizarre post about buying a Vonage router from her local Wal-Mart, replacing the circuit board inside with a turkey sandwich and then returning it to Wal-Mart for a full refund. She posted a bunch of pictures with her story, demonstrating all the steps she took to ensure that nothing would seem amiss when she returned a turkey sandwich for a refund.

“I needed something lightweight and wouldnt rattle around inside if inspected. I couldnt find anything that would work. Either things were too heavy, not large enough, or too tall. I then noticed my turkey sammich sitting next to me. I picked it up and weighed it in my hand. It was just right. I placed the case over my sammich and cut out the outline in it. Then took a couple bites to make room for the jacks.”

Altalp had no problems returning the device and even made $20 extra by filling out the rebate card. I’m not trying to encourage people to do this sort of thing, of course, because it’s a pretty horrible thing to do. But the idea of replacing a Vonage router with a turkey sandwich sounded exactly like the sort of random comment Zak would make, like the time he claimed to an operator that a vandal had replaced his telephone handset with a bologna sandwich, only Altalp actually did it!

Thanks for the story and the pictures, Altalp! Click here if you’d like to see Altalp’s full post from 2008, complete with details and pictures.

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Art, a comic and a picture to enrage

The picture above is by Sebastian, who posted it on the PLA Forums with this message: “I colored this picture of a pepper at the local Chili’s restaurant. I believe that, through this artwork and those of others, Phone Losers has a chance to live forever, maybe above the fountain drink machine or in a corner somewhere, and perhaps slightly overlapped by a better picture. We must all do our part.”

Click on this to see the full size image
Click on the image to see it full sized so you can read it.

The comic above was done by Patrick Q. and posted on his Facebook photo album. I could be wrong, but I think it might be in response to a story we did on this week’s Phone Show about possibly the world’s first prank callers.

The story, from io9.com, says that a newspaper in 1884 printed the following paragraph: “A GRAVE JOKE ON UNDERTAKERS — Some malicious wag at Providence R.I. has been playing a grave practical joke on the undertakers there, by summoning them over the telephone to bring freezers, candlesticks and coffin for persons alleged to be dead. In each case the denoument was highly farcical, and the reputed corpses are now hunting in a lively manner for that telephonist.” This was 8 years after the invention of the telephone.

This Far Side comic was re-worded by cyko. I’m not sure what it originally said, but I bet cyko’s version is much funnier.

Finally, below is a picture that I created earlier today and posted on Facebook. Some people seem to think the quote is inaccurate, but they clearly know nothing about hacker culture or history.

If you’re the kind of person who likes humorous pictures that are nothing like the pictures above, then you’ll probably like Jeremy’s House of Funny. This is a new project started up by Heywood, the guy who used to run major-losers.com and has brought all kinds of wonderful things to the PLA this past decade. There’s nothing on the main page yet, but you should join us on the forums! You should also join his Facebook page which brings you humorous pictures throughout the day.

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Defcon, Facebook and COOKIES! Oh, and Minecraft.

UPDATE #1: Have you joined PLA’s Facebook yet? Because you’re a stupid dumb newb if you haven’t. Sure we post updates on this website and on our Twitter, but most of the hardcore PLA action happens on the PLA Facebook. I just made the title of this update RED and BLINKING so this is obviously an important issue. GO JOIN THE PLA FACEBOOK!


UPDATE #2: Are you going to Defcon with us? In just one month, the biggest PLA meetup in the history of the world (since our Jonbenet murder meetup) will be happening in Las Vegas and will include amazing people like RBCP, RogueClown, el_jefe, Jammie, Chris Ellerbeck’s mom, io, Laugh Track Matt, Rappy McRapperson and a lot of other people who are only of moderate importance so I won’t mention them because they’re newbs and don’t really matter.

Defcon 19 will be at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas, from August 4th to August 7th. Admission is an outrageous $150 per person, so bring lots of badge counterfeiting supplies with you. A few of us aren’t even buying admission into Defcon since there will still be plenty to do on the outskirts of Defcon. And if you buy some of us enough beer, we might even loan our Defcon badge to you so you can get in for a bit. So don’t let the entrance fee deter you! Come to Defcon! Visit defcon.org for official Defcon information and visit PLA’s Defcon planning thread on the PLA forums to make plans with us.


UPDATE #3: Okay, shit’s getting real now because I’m using the scroll tag AND the blink tag, so you know this part is important. Here it goes…PLA has their own Minecraft server now! That’s right, back in the day we were doing crazy illegal things with telephones and having epic adventures on the streets of Corpus Christi, but in 2011 we’re reduced to nothing but a bunch of nerds who play Minecraft all day. Awesome, right?? You can learn more about our Minecraft world by visiting this thread in the PLA forums or just point your Minecraft client to 96.44.162.50:26026


UPDATE #4: Did you notice that The Phone Show didn’t happen last week? I mean, it sort of happened but it wasn’t done by ME so the dumb stuff that Aikison did in my absence is totally insignificant. There won’t be a Phone Show this week either. And maybe even none the following week. I might be able to squeeze one in before I leave for Defcon, but don’t expect a lot of Phone Show antics until after Defcon.

The good news is that there are at least 2 other shows that you can listen to on Cacti Radio during the week during my absence. Rob The Hyena does The Prank Show every Saturday night at 9pm Pacific and Staci Stack is still doing her Fun Show on Wednesday nights at 8pm Pacific. There are other shows that happen too, like Aikison and Badfish’s live show on Fridays at 9pm Pacific and Carlito’s Madhouse on Thursdays at 7pm Pacific which he hasn’t done in MONTHS NOW so I don’t know why I’m even posting it.


UPDATE #5 WHICH ISN’T REALLY AN UPDATE BUT A QUESTION: What do you think of the new design on phonelosers.org? Doesn’t the pea green background just make you want to throw up? And that pay phone menu over on the side? Have you ever even seen it? I never have because it takes 3 years to load, and I designed it! I bet it’s cool though. If you dial the standard Bell secret code into the keypad, a bunch of money is transferred to your PayPal. Try it! Let me know what you think about the design in the comments. Critique your hearts out and let me know how it could improve. And, oh yeah, GO JOIN THE PLA FACEBOOK!

Love,
Brad

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Jim Bayless. Yeah, he’s dead too.

A couple nights ago I was on a conference call with Nick Walters and he happened to casually mention that Jim Bayless had died years ago. You all remember Jim Bayless, right? He was the subject of PLA issue #009. He was mentioned in my Mildred Monday song. There’s an illustration of him in the PLA book and he used to really have it in for a guy named Alex Carbon.

I had a hard time believing Nick, so I started searching Google for any news about Jim’s death and eventually found his tribute page on findagrave.com. He died all the way back in 1997, just a couple of years after my last contact with him. His memorial page says, “James L. Bayless, 53, of Brownsburg, died at 9:09 am Friday in his home. Mr. Bayless had resided in Brownsburg for 22 years. He worked for Ameritech for 30 years, the last years in corporate security.” He died at the young age of 53.

I only wrote a couple of quick, short paragraphs about him in the PLA book, but as Nick, Adrian and aikison pointed out last night, I should have given him at least a few pages to tell the real story of Jim. So that’s what I’m going to attempt to do in this post.

In 1993, I worked with a guy named Jon Spencer at a movie theater in Indianapolis. Jon was the guy who pretended to be my supervisor in our initial prank call to Mildred Monday. We spent a lot of our free time at work playing on the pay phone in the lobby. Just days before I quit my job at the theater and moved to Celina, Ohio, Jon gave me the phone number of some kid from his school named Roger that he didn’t like and said I should harass him. This was long before the days of PLA, where I get asked to harass some random person every week, so I was happy to be given an assignment like this.

Once I was in Ohio, I began to harass Roger. I began making collect calls to his house for him, driving him and his parents nuts. Both his mother and his father angered easily so he was a fun subject. They constantly threatened me with phone traces and the police, but I just laughed at them and continued bothering them every evening.

While living in Indianapolis, I’d began playing with voicemail systems. Telephone voicemail was still kind of new for average telephone users since most people still used answering machines on their home phones. Voicemail companies were starting to pop up everywhere and I began guessing people’s passwords and playing around with different company voicemails. An alarmingly large number of people used the last 4 digits of their home phone number as their password. Other people I would call up at home and pretend to be with their voicemail company, tricking them into giving me their passwords. It kept me entertained for hours each day, changing people’s messages and prank calling the people who left messages for them. I would also make calls from one person’s voicemail box to another, imitating a user’s voice and leaving bizarre messages. The next day I would check back and hear angry and/or confused messages from each of them wondering why the other was calling them.

One voicemail service had a very cool feature – when the customer received a voicemail, the system would call their home and tell them to call their voicemail and check the new message. But just to ensure that this automated message reached the customer and not someone else in the family, the system would ask for the customer’s voicemail password. The system could be set to notify the customer every 10 minutes if I chose. And I could even change the customer’s home phone number to anything I chose.

So naturally, I put in Roger’s home phone number. I changed the customer’s password to lock them out of their voicemail and then and called their voicemail and left a single message. This caused the system to begin calling Roger’s home every 10 minutes, prompting him for a password. Because Roger’s family didn’t know the password, there was nothing they could do to stop this automated call from happening every 10 minutes. And because I started this process on a Friday evening after the voicemail company had closed, they couldn’t even call the company and make them turn it off. They were stuck with their phone ringing every 10 minutes all day and night, at least for the next 2 or 3 days.

But that’s not all. They didn’t even know what company was calling them. The automated system didn’t identify itself when it called them. It only informed them that they had a message and to please enter their 4 digit pin number. Since this was in 1993, it’s possible they didn’t even have caller I.D. yet. I called Roger’s father on Monday morning and he confirmed that their phone had been ringing approximately 144 times every day since Friday and hadn’t stopped yet. I pretended to be with his phone company to get him to talk to me about the problem, but soon let him know that I was the guy harassing them, just to hear him explode at me. On Tuesday, the owner of that voicemail box called his voicemail company and regained control of his box, locking me out. I still left him occasional messages, though, hoping that he hadn’t noticed that his notification calls were being sent to some poor kid across town.

Meanwhile, my old friend Jon in Indianapolis was getting into trouble for my harassment of Roger. He had probably let on to Roger at school that he was responsible, not realizing how out-of-control it would become. He had no way to contact me and tell me to quit, so him and his parents got to deal with Roger’s family, the phone company and the police. The police were actually at Roger’s house once when I prank called them and the cop tried to talk sense into me, but I just made lame donut jokes at him as he swore that I would be arrested.

Around this time is when I was introduced to Jim Bayless. I’d set up a voicemail box and changed the outgoing message to say that I was Roger and I wasn’t available, but they could call my home phone and talk to me there instead. I’d been leaving horrible messages for other voicemail users on the same system, which would tell them what voicemail number I was calling from. They would call back and hear my message, then they would call Roger’s house to yell at him about the messages. Some of the users must have passed along the voicemail number to Roger’s parents, because Jim left a message on it for me saying, “This is Jim Bayless with Ameritech Corporate Security here in Indianapolis. I’d like to ask you to give me a call, please, relative to your contact with the number you’ve referenced on your voicemail.”


Click to hear Jim Bayless’ message

I was beyond thrilled to have a phone company security guy take an interest in me and overjoyed when I noticed that one of the extensions in his office was 265-ALEX. To talk to Jim I only had to dial my own name! I was in the process of leaving my small apartment in Celina because I’d run up a $15,000 phone bill and was sure that GTE was going to send someone out to arrest me for that huge of an amount, especially since I used a fake name and social security number to set up the account. I headed south and began exploring Cincinnati. One day I was wandering around Cincinnati’s Skywalk and found a few pay phones next to a bank, so I powered up my red box and placed a call to Jim Bayless.

I knew that it would be awesome, saying ridiculous things to Jim as he tried to reason with me, and then being interrupted by AT&T asking me to deposit another $1.25. When it happened I informed Jim that I was using a red box and had to deposit fake money, then I beeped in the money with my tone dialer. He seemed completely unfazed by my law-breaking interlude and continued lecturing me about my prank calls and stealing voicemail service. While it was fantastic having a real phone company security guy rant at me about these things, I was still disappointed that he didn’t seem to catch on that I was red boxing.

Earlier in our call, when I told Jim that I was Alex and that I was returning his call, he talked to me for about a minute before asking me to hold on for just a second, saying, “I need to do something here.” A series of weird clicks and then having him pick up a completely different phone (the background noise changed) made me feel like I was having my call recorded and traced just like in an old 70′s TV show with the giant reel-to-reel. He’d just need to keep me on the line for a few minutes longer for the trace to complete! He immediately began asking me questions about Roger and I happily admitted everything to him. Soon after I red boxed in my money and he didn’t explode in anger at me, I told him I really had to get going and I quickly left the Skywalk just in case a crack-team of Cincinnati Bell linemen were on their way up to take me down.

Months later I was enjoying Spring Break with my friend Shane in San Diego. Shane had worked with Jon and I at the theater, and we laughed about all the craziness that I caused in Roger’s life and how Jon had to deal with all the fallout and, of course, we talked about Jim Bayless from Ameritech Corporate Security. Shane told me how Jim showed up at the movie theater I used to work at and convinced my old manager to give him a copy of my W2 tax form. I’m not sure if he had the police help convince him to hand over the forms or not, but it didn’t really matter since I was living and working under a fake name. Jim received a W2 form which listed my name as Glen Alexander Carbon with a post office box address that I’d closed months ago and the social security number of an old man in Seattle named Alex Carbon. (Yes, THIS Alex Carbon.) By the time Jim got my tax forms I was living under the name Michael Kelly, thosands of miles away from him. As we sat in a cafe, Shane drew this picture of Jim on a napkin.

Shane's Jim Bayless

More months passed and I was living in Portland, Oregon. I’d just purchased my very first cell phone from a shady guy who often came into the AM/PM store that I worked at. He was always trying to sell me stolen merchandise and drugs. I think he even tried to get me to buy a gun from him once. It wasn’t until he offered me an NEC cellular phone for $50 that I finally did business with him. I handed him $50 from the register and the phone was mine. It didn’t come with a charger since he probably stole it out of a car or mugged some guy for it, so I had to make my own out of an old power supply and paper clips. I was constantly overcharging it and heating the battery up to scary levels. But this cellular phone lasted me for nearly a year until I upgraded to a new one.

Of course, I wasn’t paying for the service on this phone. I was using stolen credit cards to make calls on it. At the time, it felt amazing to be able to carry around a phone at all times, making free calls on it that were untraceable. I soon put this fancy new technology to work by making a prank call to Jim Bayless in the middle of the night. It was around 3 o’clock in the morning when I called his office and was connected to a lady named Sylvia. I convinced Sylvia that a huge emergency involving phone phreaks was occurring and Jim Bayless needed to come into the office immediately! Sylvia patched a call through to his home, waking him up and explaining the situation to him as I listened.

When Sylvia finally left the line, I told Jim that it was Alex. After a little initial confusion and Jim sleepily realizing who I was, he tried to scare me by letting me know he’d traced my phone call before.

“Are you calling me from that pay phone by the bank in Cincinnati again?” he asked.

“No, I’m calling you from Oregon. I mugged some guy and stole his cell phone and I’m using a stolen calling card to call you! Is that okay, Jim?”

“No, I don’t think that’s okay, Alex…”

Those quotes are about all I remember from this conversation with Jim. He wasn’t happy to be woken from his sleep, but he played along until we finally said our goodbyes. When I first talked to Sylvia and told her that Jim needed to come in, she told me that he was at home in Brownsburg. So the next morning I called information to find Jim had a listed phone number in Brownsburg. Throughout the next year, I prank called him once or twice at home and a few times at work, but left him alone after that. I would always work some crazy phreaking story into my calls to him. I’d claim that I’d opened up a phone box and had been making overseas calls on other peoples’ phone lines all night or that I was blue boxing calls so that he could never trace me again. He never seemed that angry with me, but I could tell that my calls were more irritating than amusing to him.

A couple of years later, a guy named kcochran would begin researching all the names that he read about in the PLA ‘zine and Jim Bayless would be one of the people that he called to ask about me. Kcochran recently told me that Jim seemed very unhappy about my contact with him and that he took it very personally that I called him at home. It would be less than a year later that Jim Bayless would die.

And I guess that’s it. That’s the story as well as I can remember it. There may or may not be things about the whole thing that I’ve forgotten that nobody will ever know about since we can’t exactly call up Jim and ask him about it. Rest in peace, Jim! Soon you’ll have your very own spot on PLA’s Memorial!

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Play some Desktop Tower Defense with the PLA

A couple years ago, murd0c showed me a flash game called Desktop Tower Defense. Since then, my productivity with everything has decreased by about 75% or so. Work, fun, PLA Radio, everything. I’m no longer content to just waste my own life away with this game, though. No, I want to ruin yours as well. Go start playing Desktop Tower Defense today, and add your score to the PLA Scoreboard. Beat my scores so I’ll have a new goal to work towards and my life will have meaning again.

Or you could do me a huge favor by hacking handdrawngames.com and ridding the world of that game forever. If you do that, more PLA Radios will come out. I promise!

Click here to play the game.

Click here to view the PLA DTD Scoreboard

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Put Yourself on the Map

For about 2.5 years now, Frappr.com has been pinpointing the location of PLAers all over the world. Are you on the map yet? Add yourself immediately so that you can feel that your miserable existence means something, just like the other 2,013 people who have put their pin on the map.

Click here to add yourself to the map!

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Jolly Spamhead Found

Jolly Spamhead Found!
The elusive Jolly Spamhead was located today when he slipped up by signing RBCP’s guestbook with a friendly message. Mr. Spamhead is alive and well and maintains a Myspace page. You can go there to read an entry about him being found. Or him finding us, or whatever. Anyway, welcome back, JS!

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APRIL FOOLS!

Our April Fool’s joke on the world was so stealthy and so obscure and so brilliant that hardly anybody even noticed they were being fooled! But the joke is on all of you. You see, all that maroon color on this page uses the hex color code of #8C0000. And I changed the code to #8C0010 which is a slightly different shade of the same maroon! And none of you had a fucking clue either! HAH! The best part is that some of the pages on phonelosers.org remained at #8C0000 and others were #8C0010 all day. So half the time you were seeing maroon and the other half you were seeing maroon. Watch out next April 1st, suckers!

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TR0N 0WNED!

We're kidding, okay?  We don't actually give a shit about tr0n.Apparently everyone’s least favorite bridge troll Tr0n is in prison. “For being the 1337est hax0r of them all?” you’re probably thinking. Not quite. Tr0n was overheard in the Oregon prison exclaiming, “I’ve been taking it up the pooper since you were in diapers, kid! Ibaibaibaiba!”

In happier news, countykid managed to get a story published on Mentally Incontinent. It’s a hard hitting expos’e on some guy named Brad Carter. From the story… But, Chris Tomkinson’s life involving the PLA wasn’t nearly over. Between 1992 and 1998, it is estimated that nearly 8,000 calls were made to Chris Tomkinson with the intent of jokes. In his newly published journals, Chris wrote, “Brad just wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept calling me, and one time as I was stepping out of the shower, I caught I glimpse of a face looking at me. I rushed over to the phone to call his house and see if he was home, his mom picked up. He has just gone out. It was then I knew Brad needed help”.

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What the hell happened to Jolly Spamhead???

I got an email recently from an old PLA acquaintance (RiSc-Z3r0-> at Crackbox) asking me if I’d heard from Jolly Spamhead. I sure haven’t! And it turns out I haven’t heard shit from a lot of people in a lot of years. Good ‘ole Jolly Spamhead always seemed to somehow linked to various website defacements (remember KKK.com?) that gave shouts to the PLA. Has anyone heard from him??

In fact, what happened to everyone else? Like Goldeneye (remember WraithTech?), Vixen, Brice Carlson, Spessa, Spygoddess, 3rd Worm, Compudroid, Luvox Phreak, LOGIC BOX and everyone else from the old list and the old FruitWare forums. Did you all just grow up and finally realize that PLA isn’t really that cool? If any of you are reading this, leave a comment below and let us know that you’re okay and what you’ve been up to. We miss you and we’ve been worried. HOW’S LIFE?

Comments:

03/15/06 – clark from united kingdom: spamhead is living on a gay co operative in sheffield

03/14/06 – murd0c from 516: I hung out with 3rd Worm in NYC at least 3 months ago, he was a drunk old Russian-Canadian.

03/13/06 – Twist from CA to CT: I can see after seven years of popping in and out of the spot light nobody cares to talk about me. Last I saw the third worm he was chillin in Stockten California.

03/10/06 – RiSc-Zer0 aka Desperado from NJ: Hey Redbox, Thanks for postin’ bout Jolly Spamhead hope we find him!

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Phone Losers of America - thanks for the artwork, HBB!

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